Adam C. Harper

Story: The Deeper Connection (pt.6)

2012-01-30T08:44:00.000-05:00

(What you are about to read is a selection from a retreat I spoke about a year ago. It is a continuation from Part 1 (The Dawn of Creation), Part 2 (The Separation) , Part 3 (The Desperation), Part 4 (The Ability to Connect), and Part 5 (The Reconnect). It is based on the discussion of our connection with God and comes from Romans 8:1-17)

Here is where the beauty comes in. Thus far we have been discussing in these chapters, matters that discuss this connection between God and others, but He also wants you. It may not seem that way, but He does. I understand this may all seem somewhat foreign to you, this connection that we have been talking about is still happening. The Spirit of God, the almighty God, the loving Creator, the One who sacrificed of Himself to break the barrier, the One who broke Himself to heal our brokenness.

This is for available for all, but we must realize, it is for us, it is for you…you.

He wants you to want Him. He wants you to want to hear from Him. He wants you to want to connect with Him. There is nothing you can make happen or conjure up, just be open. Realize that He has so much that He wants to share with you. How He feels about you, He wants to direct you in the matters you are confused, He wants to show you so much in His Word, in His creation…by His Spirit. He wants to be with you. Just like I mentioned before, we often make God out to be someone “out there” we may not say that but we feel it. We must ask Him to reveal to us that He is here and now, and realize, despite how we feel that He IS here!

This is contrary to how we communicate in our version of normal. We communicate in ways that are very material and we expect concrete response. When we talk face to face we physically see people, when we text or type on a website we see the letters of response, even if we talk on the phone we hears audibly a physical response. With God, it isn’t physical necessarily, it is spiritual. It may connect with us in an emotional way, in a connection with our conscious, in a motivation, and in ways that are absolutely unexplainable. It is a God thing that we will never fully understand.

That is the beauty of this connection.

How do we do it? How do we connect? I cannot give you an exact answer because it works differently for everyone as we are individuals. I know we must search for Him, and not in a way that is based on how good of a person we are. We must search for Him in a way where the desperation meets a hungry search because we understand in that desperation how depraved and broken we are. If we have no understanding of our brokenness, we risk the ability to connect. Why? Because if we don’t understand how broken we are, we are being prideful in thinking we are doing fine on our own.

God resists that…

…but, God loves a humble person. If we are selfish enough to believe that we don’t really need this connection because we said a prayer so we are going to Heaven and really that is all we care about…we have completely missed it. Heaven is the byproduct of this journey, not the motivation. The motivation is to be reconnected with our Creator and letting Him use us to glorify Himself through us.

Heaven is not the motivation…it is the byproduct, it isn’t the point of a Christian life…it is the outcome. This is a concept that is lost on many of those who call themselves believers. Instead of asking, “If you were to die tonight, would you know where you would go (heaven or hell)?” Maybe we should be asking, “If you knew you had 20 years to live, what life would you live?” Christ said to “Follow Me,” He didn’t say, “Pray this prayer so you can get in!” He wants us to connect, live life with Him, let Him bring us to a place where we can live life to the fullest as He planned for us to.

We let Him have…us. We seek the connection. We long for the chance to glorify Him. We prepare by continually drawing closer to God by letting go of self. This life isn’t about us, it is about connecting to Him because we believe that is His desire and the design He has for us. We let God be our personal God, not just the “out there” God who is punching our get out of hell free cards. Let Him connect; lay your life open before Him. We often try to pull off the “Adam and Eve hiding in the trees” bit, but we have to remember, they were hiding because they had lost the connection.

Over to you…

1. What is the best way for you…you personally…to connect to God

2. What is your biggest hindrance?

3. Are you willing to hear things from God that are scary? That may cause you to have to change things in your life that are important? Are you sure?

Snipping Insecurity

2012-01-25T11:02:00.002-05:00

“I lay on the floor listening to my daughter wailing in her crib and thought to myself, I just wish that she felt safe and secure.”

Arianna recently had a small procedure done to snip her tongue because she was tongue tied a bit and we (my wife and I) felt that there may be some speech issues that would arise from her being tongue tied. Denise (my wife) scheduled a time for the procedure and we went forward with it. We never like the thought of our daughter going through something that may cause her any form of discomfort in any way, but we believed (and still do) it is for her best.

If you know Arianna, you know that she is pretty laid back, funny, almost always walking with a smile on her face, and loves to joke around even at her young age (2). So we went to Children’s hospital and she was her normal, easy going self. So much so that the nurses asked us more than once if she was always like this because she was so nonchalant about everything going on. She recovered quickly, and was ready to go home after the procedure and eat.

Arianna, as she waits for her procedure at the hospital.

We came home…and there is a point here, I promise…she ate and went down for a nap. She slept for quite a while, as expected, and woke up crying. Actually, it was a bit more of a wail. Denise checked her temperature and it was a whopping 105.

Queue the freak out.

We carried out the normal fever reducing measures, and called the doctor. Nothing to be too alarmed about but keep monitoring as the fever teetered between 99 and 103. We went to the pediatrician within the next few days and continued our home care, and she slowly began to become less “funky.”

However, there was…and to a point still is…an issue.

She was scared to go to sleep.

At least that is what I think.

She went to sleep and woke up and her tongue hurt.

Then she went to sleep and woke up with a fever and felt miserable.

She knew something happened when she went to sleep.

So, going to bed became a fight for the first time in my daughter’s life. She is the easiest child I know of, so this was so foreign. We would put her in bed and she would scream and toss and jump and everything a child can do to stay awake and get our attention. So we tried to teach her the word “safe.” For some reason, it is very difficult to describe what it means to be safe to a two year old.

My wife and I held her in her room for a while and laid on the floor with her, then we moved her to her crib as we lay on the floor and this is when she began to cry because she wanted the security of being with us.

I lay on the floor listening to my daughter wailing in her crib and thought to myself, I just wish that she felt safe and secure. I wish she knew that she could trust me to protect her. I wish I could somehow communicate with her.

And it dawned on me, in the midst of the chaos, the crying, the shrieks of “Daddy!” that this must be very similar to how God feels when I am here crying, screaming, and writhing in the midst of some trial and feeling like He isn’t there or just doesn’t care.

I have a decent vocabulary of words that I can use, but many of those words (especially those that describe safety) are lost on a two year old version of vocabulary. How much greater is God’s communication to my limited understanding?

I was within seconds of being in Arianna’s presence when she was in her crib and I was in the other room, but to her, I might as well have been a million miles away because she didn’t see me. Ever feel that way with God?

Why won’t you respond? Maybe He is and we have to trust that He is in His omniscient way. I could allow my daughter to have everything she wants done her way and I could be her whipped servant, but that isn’t what is best for her. She doesn’t understand that and gets frustrated with me at times, but, as a father I know what is better for her and am ok with the anger she has towards me because I know it will be what is best for her in the long run.

God is similar, only in a much greater scale. Do I trust Him though? Do I rest in the safety of knowing that He has me? Can I relax and let go of situations that I do not understand? Or am I the child screaming at Him because I want what I want because I am afraid, hurt, and not understanding what God is doing?

I hate the fact that my daughter suffered, but I love the fact that she loves me and smiles when I come home and runs to me saying, “Daddy!” God does too. Look for the lessons, they seem to be abounding all around.

Story: The Reconnect (Pt.5)

2012-01-23T10:58:00.002-05:00

(What you are about to read is a selection from a retreat I spoke about a year ago. It is a continuation from Part 1 (The Dawn of Creation), Part 2 (The Separation) , Part 3 (The Desperation), and Part 4 (The Ability to Connect). It is based on the discussion of our connection with God and comes from Colossians 1:9-23, Acts 2)

Christ made the once for all time sacrifice, there was an understanding that God connected with us. The issue was, now what? He was gone again. What was mankind to do? Those who followed Him most closely forgot that Christ said He would send a Helper and said that we would do greater things than He did. Greater things? How is that possible? There was a time of celebration in Jerusalem (the capital of Israel) and many people came from all over to this celebration.

Something happened…

Something very big…

God connected with those who believe.

Think about this, since Adam and Eve, man had not had the connection. Christ came and a few people in this world had a connection with God, now…anyone…anyone who believed in Christ could have a connection. You see, when God created mankind he also gave us a spirit. He gave us an inner person, if you will, that guides and directs us for better or worse. The reason everything changed is because, God sent His Spirit to connect with ours.

This changed everything.

This meant that we could ask God what to do and feel His presence guiding us in our decisions. In times of necessity, God would speak to us and point us to where we should go. As we read His Word, He can help us discern what it is saying. We just need to seek Him and He meets us. This is amazing. If you have ever experienced the presence of His Spirit, how can you describe it? What words can you use? As an example of this major movement of the Spirit, the first movement, God’s Spirit connected with His followers and gave them the ability to speak in many different languages. Remember I said, people came from all over the place to Jerusalem?

They heard the truth of God in their native tongue. Keep in mind, these followers of Christ didn’t speak other languages.

The Spirit spoke through them.

Can you imagine that? Take a minute and picture that.

Seriously.

A disciple gets up and feels as though He must speak out about the truth of Christ, he goes to open his mouth and He begins to speak Chinese or maybe a tribal language from Africa. The astonished look as the first follower spoke must have been priceless. The feeling of speaking in that language, and then doing so with authority, not knowing how this was happening but the words flowing from your mouth with comfort.

Amazing.

Many came to know Christ, and therefore, become connected to God through His Spirit. What a powerful display of what connection can do. God plugging Himself into the human spirit, connected, energized, glorifying Himself through His creation as we were intended to. It wasn’t the same as the original connection, but what a powerful connection. Reunited and it feel so good. There is power when God connects with us. God gave them the ability, and the beautiful thing is, we have the ability too. The followers prayed and sought Him, when you seek Him, you will find Him and His Spirit will connect you.

Over to you…

1. Think about it, what can God…plugging Himself into you do?

2. Explain it, as if talking to a non-believer, how does this Holy Spirit thing work?

3. What are your thoughts on connection with God?

Grace, Love, and Murder (pt.2)

2012-01-18T08:26:00.002-05:00

(This is a continuation of the post from yesterday.)

Before I go any further, I do not want to make light of the action that Steve carried out. There are several families that are hurt, broken, mourning, and it is not my intention to make light of the situation. The hope is that we look at the sickness of sin, examine ourselves to see where God has been gracious to us, and see the areas that we should be growing in grace if we are truly desiring to be more life Christ.

I read some of the comments on Facebook as this story spread to some of my friends, and to others that went to school with Steve. One comment stuck out to me…

“It is sad, but Steve was always so mean to me in school…”

In this instance, I was so frustrated with this comment. I was very close to throwing out a rebuttal that would have surely been overly harsh. However, I had to be honest with myself, isn’t that my attitude in grace?

A sort of, “yeah, he had it comin’” attitude, and I rejoice a little that his life is now (for all intents and purposes) over? He was mean then, so now it comes as no surprise that this lowlife would do something like this?

When I was young, a dog bit me and left me with some small scars. I found out that dog was hit by a car several years later, and to be honest…I was kind of happy.

Why?

Is that grace?

I can’t imagine Christ walking this earth and feeling a bit vindicated that someone that had treated him poorly, or wronged Him, or was just a liability to society threw their life away but committing a terrible crime.

Would He say there should be punishment?

Yes.

Would He take joy in that?

No.

So why do we?

I believe it is because it makes us feel better about ourselves, more righteous, and in our works based mindset we believe that we are closer to God when we can one-up someone on the good works list.

Sadly, this has nothing to do with how God has things set up.

The Apostle Paul was a murder.

I say all of that to say this. God has shown me great grace in my life. It has been a grace that has been sprinkled throughout this journey of my life and intermittently mixed with some very grace filled events. For me to be shown such great grace and for me (in my attitude) to show no grace is a debauchery.

Grace doesn’t necessarily mean a person is free from being punished. Grace will influence the attitude in which it is carried out.

I believe Steve will be punished, I believe he should. However, my heart is heavy for a person whom I once knew well and has thrown his life away over something that was surely not worth it. I also know that God has taken thrown away lives and changed them for His glory and that is my hope.

Grace, Love, and Murder (pt.1)

2012-01-17T11:23:00.001-05:00

(I am writing a special blog over the next three days. I normally write a story on Monday's, regular blog entry on Wednesday's, and a retro post from the past on Friday's. However, this week I am writing about a former friend of mine that has gotten himself in a lot of trouble and the lessons I have learned from hearing the news of his tragedy.)

When I was heading into sixth grade I had to switch schools. This would be the second time I had switched schools and as a shy, backwards, and highly emotional child it was frightening. I knew a few of the other students from the church I attended, but all in all, it was another transition that I was anxious about. I ended up going to Marietta Christian School for three years.

I learned a lot.

I learned about the proverbial "sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll", and various other things. I changed a lot in those years, because I went from being a very innocent child that had been sheltered under the umbrella of a legalistic regime to more of a rebel against that machine. I had several friends, but there was a small group of us that would regularly hang out while at the school. I was certainly not the most popular of the group, but I looked to two of the guys who were in my grade as the guys I most enjoyed hanging out with.

One was named Shaphan. He was the guy who kind of took me under his wing and helped me become a little less awkward. Shaphan, and his kindness, helped me out in many ways. However, that isn’t the story I want to dive into. The other friend of mine was Steve. Steve was a bit mischievous, and we all were, but Steve was a fun guy to hang around with. Every day, I looked to hang around with these two in our little group of friends. In our seventh grade year the movie “Young Guns II” came out and we all were a part of the “gang”, we each picked a character and thought we were just like them.

I kind of miss those days.

I remember one day very clearly (and I share this because I want to provide a window into our interactions). There was a group of us that played basketball or soccer and we had some time between a game or practice so we decided to sneak out and go to the convenience mart up the road. We went in with a game plan, I would distract the clerk by asking some questions and my friends would take what they wanted and hide some and buy some and we all would walk out paying for a little, but receiving a lot.

Most of them took candy, snacks, and pop. Steve managed to get a whole carton of cigarettes. I was happy to help. We basked in the glory of our haul and honestly, I was amazed that we got away with it. However, we did, and were so proud. I also remember the time that our terrible music instructor was yelling at us and I began to cry, Steve patted me on the back and said some kind words to calm me down before I had a complete meltdown.

Having said all of this, I have to confess to you that this past week has really been eye-opening, gut wrenching, and I have been all over the place in my thoughts as I have tried to wrap my mind around the news I received last Thursday.

Steve broke into someone’s house, shot and killed a man, kidnapped and beat a woman at gun point, fought with another man and injured him, and led the police on a two hour manhunt. When I read the news, I just sat in my office and was completely bewildered. I had obligations to go to, I went, but I wasn’t there. I kept asking myself, “Steve, what happened?”

That led to the question, “How am I where I am, and Steve is where he is?”

I often say to people, “You don’t know where I came from.” The reason I say that is because most people that know me now (and really those that knew me years ago had no clue what was going on) cannot imagine that I was the person I was.

The rebuttal I hear from people was that Steve was allegedly on drugs. I have been there.

“Well, Steve has made some poor decisions in his life.” Check, been there too.

In fact, while there are sure to be differences in our paths, I am sure that I could be found guilty of all these precursors to Steve's final fall.

Then it hit me.

There is an unreal amount of grace that has been poured out upon me as I have walked this pathway of the journey God has put before me. I walk along this path and fall off the edge and am put back on my feet wholly by the grace of God.

What does that mean for Steve? Is God less gracious towards him? I am not sure how to best answer that except to say that maybe Steve had become completely unaware of the presence of God in his life and was therefore running away from the grace that God so eagerly wants to pour out on all of us. I imagine, if we looked at Steve’s life, we would see numerous times when God had poured out grace.

So what does this grace mean for us?

Story: The Plan (pt.4)

2012-01-16T10:35:00.000-05:00

(What you are about to read is a selection from a retreat I spoke about a year ago. It is a continuation from Part 1 (The Dawn of Creation), Part 2 (The Separation) and Part 3 (The Desperation). It is based on the discussion of our connection with God and comes from John 1:1-18)

The thought of a God desperate for anything is foreign to us as a whole. God enjoys two things, receiving the glory due to Him and the love of His creation. That is the beauty of His plan to bring us back into a restored relationship. His plan would not only conquer His enemy and ours, it would bring a way for us to have fellowship and be connected again as we should be. The plan would be to take our brokenness, the fractured people that we became when Adam and Eve sinned and break Himself in order for us to be restored.

Before that happened God instituted a sacrificial system. If a person sinned, they had to make a sacrifice. There were many variances of sacrifice, all to cover sins in a temporary way. While I do not believe it wise to make light of this because of it foreshadowing of Christ’s coming, I do want to focus on the sacrifice that God made on His part. The sacrificial system that was set up was based on man sacrificing for his own sins, the plan that God had would be Him paying the price we could not. One was temporary, the other eternal…once for all. One covered our brokenness temporarily the other would fix it permanently.

This system was not the original plan or a perfect world, and God knew of a better plan than the sacrificial system that was in place. The connection was still broken; the brokenness was not fixed with the sacrificial system but it was a foreshadowing of what had to take place. Something greater than a lamb would have to be sacrificed. Something would have to be given to draw mankind back to God. For God and mankind to be reconnected…

…He would stand in our place.

Where we were broken, He would be.

This was no easy task; God would send Himself, in flesh to earth to live life with the mankind that He created. While here, He would live a perfect sinless life that no one else could, then He would die. His sinless life would satisfy the requirement or price that was needed to be paid so mankind could be reunited with God. Can you see His passion? His desire to bring us back to that connection? His desire would bring Him glory and honor and in the same breath bring the brokenness to an end. God had a plan. He would come from Heaven to earth, leaving the splendors of His unfathomable home, to walk this dirty earth that He created but we had made into something most foul, a cesspool of sin and human depravity. He would live here in this mess we had created of His creation, live as we were always intended despite mankind, and become broken. This was necessary to reconnect us.

As amazing as this plan is, it is much deeper. It is a far greater plan than we could ever understand fully. It is a God sized plan, and only He could work it out. He did so, perfectly. God carried out His plan as Christ died for our sins, rose again after three days, and later ascended back to His home in Heaven. That part of the job was complete. The barrier was removed; sin lost its hold on those who accepted Christ as Savior, as the One who died for their brokenness.

But there is more that God accomplished...

Over to you…

1. Have you ever thought about God’s plan and how elaborate it really is?

2. Do you often sit and think about the magnitude of what God did? Do you see His desire to be connected? In what ways?

3. Take a moment, think about this thought, “God … broken” and write down what comes to your mind.

Wander Bread

2012-01-11T10:11:00.001-05:00

About 6 months ago or so I picked up a new hobby that I enjoy. I started going to auctions. I had been to auctions before, but I actually decided to go to a storage auction. I have since enjoyed going to an occasional auction. The feeling is electric as you go to an auction. What mystery is behind the door? Or at a more normal auction, who wants what and what are they will to spend for it?

It is so mysterious and fun.

That is until recently.

Recently, with the popularity of the storage auction television show, when you show up to an auction you will see approximately five times the amount of people there to bid. The units sell for about five times the amount too. People travel from all over to come and take part in the mystery in the hopes of getting a unit and making some money.

For example, last week people traveled from two hours away…

…for one unit…

…one unit.

Upon listening to their story, I find that they do this not so much for the fun that I enjoy the auctions for, but out of desperation.

You see, there are some people who do this for a living, or to pay the bills their job can’t take care of. They have become reliant on that income. Now, there are hundreds of people buying units they used to get and the units they can get have the prices driven up and so they get less revenue.

So it hit me, what I was seeing, this increased population in my area of those that are not “indigenous” to my area.

This was a lot like animal migration due to lack of food.

The predators, the veterans of auctions, have had to migrate to new hunting grounds. New predators have come in and thinned out the prey. For example, a lion may move to a different geographic location if a larger lion or other predator comes into his area and thins out the food supply.

So where there is no food, animals leave. Where there is no profit, people leave.

This is where my mind went to explore this from a spiritual perspective.

Jesus called Himself the Bread of Life (John 6), and He tells how this Bread sustains and those who eat of this bread will never go hungry. Those who believe in the teaching of Christ would agree readily to this, that is, those who have experienced God through the work of Christ would. There are certainly those that call themselves Christians that have never really experienced Christ, and therefore have never tasted of the proverbial bread.

Without getting off track, the basic idea is that those who experience Christ have their spiritual hunger met and have no need to look elsewhere. They don’t need to migrate to be fed. They don’t ever have to leave the land that they are indigenous to. It isn’t that they just don’t leave; it is that they don’t want to.

This isn’t a guilt trip about anyone leaving a church…please don’t take it that way because if you do…then the point has been missed.

Here is the point…The world is obviously starving spiritually. Why?

Where are we?

We are called to be a type of bread vendor, and this is a generalization because there are certainly effective “vendors”, but in a culture where churches are often within a stone’s throw of each other…

…why does it seem like there is so little bread?

Why would people rather migrate away from the “vendors?”

I am teetering on the verge of rambling, so I will wrap this up.

I will admit to you, I don’t have an answer as to how we go about fixing this, but I am searching. It may be as simple as inviting your neighbors over for dinner…without an agenda of getting them “saved”, but rather just to get to know them.

Just get to know them.

Love God, love them.

Story: The Desperation (pt.3)

2012-01-09T11:06:00.000-05:00

(What you are about to read is a selection from a retreat I spoke about a year ago. It is a continuation from Part 1 (The Dawn of Creation) and Part 2 (The Separation). It is based on the discussion of our connection with God and comes from Genesis 3:7-24)

I don’t know how it happened; the Bible says that their eyes were opened. I honestly do not know what that looks like. The point is that they understood they did something very wrong. They did something so wrong that they ran and hid from God when they heard Him coming.

Hide from God.

Can you imagine the desperation that they felt in their hearts when for the first time they felt guilt, remorse, panic, dread, and so many other emotions?

Hide from God?

They were so overwhelmed by these new emotions and feelings that they had no idea what to do with them. As they wrestle with all of this, they hear footsteps. More of these fearful emotions flood over them…

Hide from God!

They run and find refuge somewhere, but God is the worst person to play hide and seek with. He knew, and yet, He came. He didn’t leave them out there; He went to them to make certain that they knew what had happened. They had never experienced God like this, God the disciplinarian. I don’t know if they understood the weight of what had just happened. They knew it was a serious problem, but it would soon come to a time that they would have to experience the full brunt of what they had done. Not only would life on earth change, but the relationship with God would be forever changed…

…for them…

…for all mankind…

…forever.

While they dealt with dread, He dealt with great sorrow. His perfect creation fell. Separated to a relationship He never intended. Broken, shattered, crushed, and wrecked the beauty of the free will that He gave man had become the breaking point the enemy attacked and gained victory over. He was forced to drive them away from Himself, forced to become unplugged from them, forced to divorce Himself from them.

God…broken hearted.

The desperation of mankind as they were forced to leave perfection by partaking of the fruit as well as being driven out of the garden had to be unexplainable. Everything was new, but in a horrible empty way. Instead of just gathering food that was in abundance all around them, they had to search for food. They had to learn to plant and grow food, learn to water it, learn to fend off predatory animals, find shelter from weather. Everything that seemed so simple to them and to us now, was not simple because now they had to figure it out for themselves.

How lonely and desperate they must have felt. If only we could re-do everything. If only we hadn’t listened to that blasted serpent. If only we had known then what we know now, why would anyone want to do this to us anyway? Their children would never know God the same way they did. Mankind would grow and spread all across this earth, but no one would experience God the same as they did. The way God designed mankind for, the way we were supposed to be connected. Desperation to rekindle the connection filled the heart of mankind. A desperation to fill the void, but this desperation is one that mankind could not fill on their own, how could they ever reconnect to God?

Man began to try to find ways to fill this void, but how? Many attempts have been made to fill that void over the centuries; there is only One who can fill. The desperation to fill that void began thousands of years ago when the fruit was eaten; many still suffer from it now. The beauty is that the wonderful God that we serve made a plan. An elaborate plan and the only way to fix the broken relationship was to become broken Himself.

Over to you…

1. The connection was broken, try to imagine what that must have felt like and explain as best you can.

2. What thoughts do you think went through Adam and Eve’s mind as they left the garden? Have you ever felt that way?

3. What are your thoughts so far? Have you ever felt desperation? Hopeless?

Uninhibited (pt.3) "Confessions"

2012-01-05T06:49:00.000-05:00

(The following selection is a continuation from the "Uninhibited" series (Here is Part 1 and Part 2)

Have you ever talked about something with a friend and given them some advice, and then shortly after you give someone advice you run into a similar issue yourself? You may walk away with a slew of different feelings…

…Pride that you have given great advice…

…Hope that they will listen and there will be change…

… Fear, because the situation seems bleak despite your advice…

…Maybe even humility because you understand the weight of your words upon someone else…

…it could be a combination or anywhere in between these feelings.

That’s where I am.

I am right there.

I write various things on my blog in the hopes that there may be a few people out there that enjoy it and maybe it will even help. I enjoy writing, and it helps me process through a lot of the meanderings of my mind. Recently, I have been diving into living an uninhibited spiritual life. On the surface, I probably seem pretty free. A layer or two beneath the surface, many other may still see freedom. However, I am discovering, as I peddle my piety, that at my core I am sick with the bondage of what I can’t do.

Let me try to explain. I often talk myself out of taking risks because it doesn’t make the most rational sense. I do this out of fear, pride, and self gratification. It is scary to do something that is risky. I might fail and lose face. So the easiest thing for me to do is to stay put, and it helps when I have my “yes men” around me to agree and pat me on the back with an “atta boy!” (Many time the “yes men” are people who genuinely care for you but are more focused on the material end of things than any of us should be…but that “yes” sure feels good, doesn’t it?)

But is that what God wants?

Noah.

Hosea.

Jeremiah.

Moses.

Enough said.

So what is it that hinders me? I had a very real conversation with a friend yesterday. What I mean by that is, he asked me questions and I didn’t try to look good with my answers. It was real. It was honest. It was maddeningly reflective.

He would ask, “Why not?”

I would honestly answer, “Because I am afraid…” or “…I am proud…” or “…my ego is too big…” or “I just don’t want to, really.”

Inhibited.

The very matter that I know I should handle differently, the very matter that I write about on here…I find myself wrestling with in a way that is frustrating.

And yet, I am loved.

He knew my struggles before I had them. He knew I wouldn’t get it. He knew how very short I fall.

His grace is surely enough.

Here is the point, No man has everything mastered. In the matter of being uninhibited spiritually and walking in the freedom that we should be striving for, I have not run into one person who (if they are honest with themselves) can say they are fully free. Those who are honest with themselves will admit that there is something that holds them back.

So what do we do with that?

We continue to explore the wonders of our God, facing the fears, pride, and ego with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and challenging those things that rise up inside of us telling us that we can’t. The human spirit is a wonderful thing when it challenges those things that cause it to fear. When the human spirit connects with the plans of God’s Spirit and is empowered by Him there is nothing that can inhibit. That is where I want to be. I am a lot closer than I used to be. I am free enough to admit my short comings, I am confident that God can transform me to that place. Letting go with the understanding that attaining true freedom comes solely from God and I have no ability to become free myself.

I am freer than I ever have been, and I cannot go back, but I also cannot stay. I must search for the things I cling to in the darkest recesses of my “self” and let them go. From one person suffering from this sickness to others suffering as well, I have felt the beginnings of this healing, of this freedom, and I encourage you to start/continue down this path. Take inventory of your heart. What needs to be let go of? What needs to be thrown overboard? What is it that inhibits you from chasing hard after God?

God is bigger than whatever it is.

“The sickness of having an inhibited view of God cripples the church from being the Bride she was always meant to be. She becomes a bride afraid to walk down the aisle because she fears everything that could go wrong. She may trip on the way, she may mess up the word of her vows, she may sneeze, her Groom may someday leave her, He may not like her cooking, etc.. What she forgets is that her loving Groom knows all of her faults, loves her, and cannot wait for her to get down the aisle and begin the union that He has planned for all of eternity.”

Story: The Separation (pt.2)

2012-01-02T11:23:00.000-05:00

(What you are about to read is a selection from a retreat I spoke about a year ago. It is a continuation from Part 1 (The Dawn of Creation) It is based on the discussion of our connection with God and comes from Genesis 3:1-6)

In the midst of God’s perfect creation there was an opening for imperfection. You see, in order for the creation (man) to be the perfect creation, he had to have free will. Man had to have the ability of choice, a forced love is not a perfect love, and a perfect love is a love made because it is what a person wants. In the midst of God’s perfect creation, which it had to be a perfect creation because He made it, there was a birth defect (so to speak) and that was the free will of mankind. In this free will, man had the opportunity to make a choice to not do as God wished.

I don’t know if Adam or Eve even knew they had an enemy. If they did I am fairly confident that they had no idea who they were messing with, no idea of his cunning, his intentions, or his hatred for all that God is. I do know that the enemy knew them, and he knew just how much mankind meant to God. The enemy didn’t try to fool a deer into not doing as it was created to. He didn’t try to cause a bird not to fly. He did come up with the plan for man to not do what he was created to do, to have a special connection with God.

There were numerous trees in creation, all of them lovely. However, there was one that God did not want man to bother himself with and told Adam and Eve to not eat the fruit of that tree. I don’t know how long they listened, but it wasn’t long enough. I don’t know if the enemy heard God tell them not to eat of the tree, but somehow, he knew that there was suddenly a rule that they were not to break. He knew if he played on the freewill of mankind, he may just be able to trip them up. Maybe, just maybe, he could break this wonderful connection and by that break the heart of God whom he hated so much. The enemy devised a plan to trick the trusting humans into direct disobedience.

I am sure Eve in her purity was doing nothing out of the ordinary, maybe she was climbing trees, or gathering fruit, or just out for an observing stroll when the voice spoke to her. This was a new voice, one she hadn’t heard before. I wonder how he started that conversation, the rush he must have felt knowing the devious deception that he was about to begin. The separation he was about to cause, the pain to his nemesis and creator, did he shiver with delight? Whatever was said, it was all wrapped around a lie. Convincing poor Eve that God had somehow been holding out, deceiving her, and that there was most definitely something better.

Eve had quite a wrestling match mentally, not processing the thought that someone might actually be saying something untrue verses her God who seems to have always cared for and told her anything she has wanted to know with complete honesty. That enemy with all his smooth talking and conniving though sounded so honest and why would he want to say anything that wouldn’t be true?

Why not?

She takes the fruit and goes to Adam and convinces him of this insidious thought that maybe, there is more than what God has told us. Maybe this serpent knows something. Maybe there is something more enjoyable than God, and all that He has created. They eat the fruit. Their eyes are opened. A new world has come into play, but this world is not the world that was perfect. This world is disconnected. This world is broken. This world is fractured.

Oh the joy the enemy must have felt as he saw mankind sink their teeth into the fruit of separation. The victory he must have felt as he knew that he had caused this. The joy that filled his dark heart, he had done it. He had broken the heart of his Creator and the Creator of this dangerous mankind. The joys that God had walking with these humans through the garden would most definitely be broken because the enemy had learned from experience; God could not have fellowship with sin. The enemy of God, our enemy, had caused man to stumble and fall away from God’s design.

Mankind was disconnected.

Over to you…

1. As you read the passage and the story, do you see God as an emotionless God, a loving friend, or somewhere in between?

2. Put yourself in Adam and/or Eve’s shoes (so to speak), what the emotions they must have been feeling through all of this

3. The enemy was so driven to destroy the connection, how do you see him continuing to do the same thing today? Does he use similar methods?

Uninhibited (pt.2) "Battling Guilt"

2011-12-28T14:14:00.001-05:00

“Even though I am guilty, it is not God’s desire for me to live a life based in guilt. It is His desire for me to know that He knew of my guilt before the crime was committed and that I am accepted regardless.”

I think a deeper issue than I know has been revealed to me. I never thought I walked around feeling guilty or like God was just itching to “smite” me. So, if someone were to ask me if my relationship with God is based on guilt, I could honestly say, “no.” I would then add a nice scripted rebuttal about how in a relationship it isn’t guilt based, but that He loves me and even though He cannot stand my sin, He loves me and something about how Christ’s sacrifice has washed away my sins and opened the avenue to this relationship I have with God.

And that is true…

…but…

I had to ask myself recently…why do I do the things I do?

What is my motivation?

Do I do the things I do because if I do not do them I feel as though I am just waiting for the hammer to drop and for God to cut me off? Take away my calling? Strip me of His grace? Recall his mercy? Strike me down? Pull back his presence? Or…do I do them because it is with a genuine heart that I feel led of God to my actions because I genuinely love Him?

To answer this…you can’t just give a knee jerk response. You have to really think about it.

I know… I am a recovering knee jerk responder.

I come to this conclusion, the thought that I am a part of a guilt driven relationship because if I do something wrong, I sin, respond poorly, or just something that isn’t considered to be very godly, I do feel guilt and therefore my confidence in who I am (my identity) in God is fractured. I feel as though I am in an un-recoverable relationship and am in a pit that separates me from the God I love. I feel almost too guilty to pray, when I do pray, my prayers are mostly just me repeatedly saying I am sorry and how I can’t believe He would love someone like me.

There is nothing wrong with being repentant when you are wrong…

…but I began to wonder, do I question the limits of His love?

Am I so inhibited that I don’t really believe that God’s love, His calling, His mercy, grace, and patience?

I am sure that many of us struggle with this, but here is where it has taken a more “smack in the face” approach for me. If I lack confidence in the boundlessness of God’s love, my relationship with Him will only proceed in love as far as I can comprehend. It will be based in manmade limitations and not faith and as soon as I cross into a place where His love is not understandable by me, I enter into a guilt relationship with Him.

That is not His desire.

Does God really want me to feel so guilty about my wrong doings that I am paralyzed from a lack of confidence that I am not willing to listen to Him and step out in faith?

Of course not.

An uninhibited relationship with God is not based on what we understand of God, which is based on guilt. An uninhibited relationship with God is based on faith and the belief that He is all that He says He is, and His love (through Christ) is more powerful than our sin. It isn’t that we go out and sin for fun, but that when we do mess up…it doesn’t ruin anything, in fact God can use our unintentional floundering to glorify Himself.

He is THAT good.

When I think about the limitations I have placed on my life because I am not good enough, not mature enough, not developed enough, or whatever other reason I have dreamt up I am sorrowful. However, I believe God can even turn the limits that I have wrongfully placed on my life for his glory…and that is exciting.

What limits have you had on your life? As cliché as it sounds, God is actually big enough to glorify Himself beyond your limits. Don’t let this inhibit you…and I will work on growing to do the same. I am learning that there is a lot more growth to be done, but I know His Spirit is a great teacher.

Story: The Dawn of Creation (pt. 1)

2011-12-26T15:11:00.002-05:00

(What you are about to read is a selection from a retreat I spoke about a year ago. It is based on the discussion of our connection with God and comes from Genesis 1 &2.)

"God's great desire is to be intimately connected with us. We struggle to believe that, but He has proven that point over and over again since the dawn of Creation. It is easier for us to believe when we do something wrong that He is all angry, all frustrating, all sick and tired of our stupidity than to believe that He is still all loving."

The great God of all things has set into motion His grand creativity and in His all knowing mind has a blueprint to lay out the perfect plan for the perfect world and in this perfect world, a perfect companion. All else is laid out and now it is time to create man. Man will walk with God, talk with Him, they will be connected. Man and woman both will have this wonderful access to God. The plan is perfect, God stoops down to the earth that He created and begins to carve out in the dirt that He created a form. This form somehow looks like God, but is in no way God.

God spoke all things into being, but this project is so unique, so special, so exciting for Him that He actually gets His hands dirty. The form is done, and now for the most electric part of Creation…God breathes life into man. With a single breath from God dirt turns into flesh, lungs take in air; blood begins to pump through the veins he designed throughout the body. The blood is pumped by a muscle in the middle of the body, while other muscles begin to awaken for the first time as man begins to stir from his sleep. Dirt becomes alive.

We can imagine numerous things as we picture this story unfolding. What was the mind of Adam thinking as He awakened? This mind that just moments before was a large lump of dirt, what was the first thought when the synapses began to fire? Man, and shortly after woman, was formed and God had created and finished the perfect world. The beauty that He had designed in a mere six days was capped off with the crown jewel of His desire. Humans, chosen to be the love of the one and only God, created to be connected to God…forever.

The perfection of His creation is exhaustive to think about, the many intricate parts of the body that He designed and how they all work together. To say it is a work of art would be infinitely short selling the work that He did. God walked in the garden with the first couple, I can only image the conversations that happened there. The questions the first probing human minds shot towards the all knowing God, it must have been like a three year old at the zoo.

While we can’t think in the same light as God, I wonder what He was thinking. Knowing that He knew the outcome, why would He go through the pain and frustration? Why would He put up with all the garbage that man would throw at Him? Why did He care so much? Why does He love us so? Much of the connection that He longs to have with us today can be understood (not completely) in better light when we see how enamored He was with Adam and Eve. God created a perfect place for them to live, and gave it to them for their own even. I think we often forget just how much God truly loved Adam and Eve; we focus on the fall and the wrongdoing, but before the fall the acts of love that God presented to them was beautiful.

Over to you...

1. What sticks out to you? What are you thinking?

2. Do you see anything new that you hadn’t thought about when you read this story?

3. Try to explain God’s love for mankind from what you see in this story and in Genesis.

4. Does this make you think differently about how His love for you?
5. Explain God’s desire for connection as best you can

Uninhibited (pt.1)

2011-12-22T12:05:00.000-05:00

Honestly, this is just something I thought about the other day…and decided to try to put it down on “Paper.” As I began to write it out, there is so much more to this, but here are some beginning thoughts and I would love to hear back from you…

What does it mean to be uninhibited?

I often sit and think of my short comings. I don’t know if it is normal to do so, but it is a practice that I have been blessed to do fairly continually. I don’t beat myself up too badly, usually, but try to become more aware of when I make mistakes so that I can better handle them in the future. This has helped me with my temper, impulse reactions, response to questions in meeting, and many other areas in life such as parenting, resolving issues at home, at work, and friendships.

Here is what I have found about myself…

…I am very inhibited.

What I mean is, there are a lot of matters that I have experienced in my life that have caused me to react poorly in various situations. I do not handle them properly or well at all, my experiences (or lack thereof) inhibit me from reacting well.

I want to be uninhibited, that is have nothing that holds me back from handling situations properly, so I look for ways to continually improve myself to become the person that can move and act freely in just about any situation in life.

Because of this, and my earnest desire to become uninhibited, I have grown.

I have found, not many Christians reside in an uninhibited place spiritually…

…and with all of my advancements, neither do I.

However, I am realizing a tenacious hunger to do so.

I relish in the thought of freedom to go or do whatever God calls someone to. It seems glorious to be called to Africa or South America. It seems amazing to me as I read Acts, that people just sold property and gave all the money to the church. What is this peace that a person has when they lose someone so very close to them?

When I see these situations unfold before me, it is unreal and yet I long to be like that.

I am blessed.

Maybe I am too blessed.

I am happily married to a beautiful woman who is blessed with a wonderful job. We have been blessed with two beautiful children. I have a job I enjoy. I have a nice cozy little house, cars, a family that loves me to death, and a partridge in a pear tree.

So, why would I want anything else?

I have more than my parents ever did when I was growing up. I have more than I ever dreamed possible when I was young.

On top of it all, I am healthy.

But…

…I am inhibited spiritually.

I am scared.

I fear losing any part of this wonderful life because it is so wonderful, even though God tells me that if He tells me to give it up…it will be worth it. I fear that I will upset the perfect balance of this blessed life, even though I know (kind of) that He is the one who has given all of it to me.

I wonder, even if I was uninhibited in these matters…what would it be that inhibits me?

In its simplest form it is the raising of hands during music at church because of what people may think…or at least the uncomfortable feeling of wondering if I have pit stains.

It is not saying anything, even though maybe I should, because I may not be able to say it in a way that is just right.

It is not helping someone, because I have something else to do that “must” get done.

It is…so…many…things.

There is always something. It isn’t anyone else's fault. This is mine to carry.

And…there is only One who can set me free from this.

So, maybe that is what I want for Christmas…

…to be uninhibited spiritually…to walk along that journey and know that I am growing in it, and to lead others to do the same?

Relentless

2011-12-19T09:13:00.001-05:00

(What you are about to read is a selection from a retreat I spoke at recently. It is based on the discussion of our calling and comes from Matthew 11:1-18, Mark 1:16-20, Luke 5:1-11; 27-32, John 1:35-50.)

“When our core longing lines up with God’s calling we will see remarkable demonstration.”

Sometimes we get off course slightly. Sometimes we are completely off, so how do we know it is God that is calling us? Sometimes, we just know…sometimes we need some guidance from others to help us think through all of this. Once again, there is no exact formula.

I often feel like God says to me in some capacity, “Follow Me” and I come back with an, “I want to…genuinely…but how?”

Here is what I have learned, and I am sure you will find it to be profound and life changing…

…ok, maybe not.

Do what you know to do out of an authentic and hungry (for what God wants for you) heart. When you don’t know, pray…pray…and pray again, and then seek counsel with people who love and care for you and want what God wants for your life as well.

I don’t recall a time when God said, “I would call you but you are too stupid, moron.”

And God has dealt with a lot of slow witted people.

Like this guy (me).

Stop! Read: Matthew 16:21-28, Luke 9:46-50, Luke 22:54-62

These are the disciples, and these are just a few of their mishaps. These guys lived with Christ for three and a half years, and they messed up. We have to remember that God is faithful, merciful, gracious, and loving. The Scripture is chocked full of people who messed it up, but their heart was longing for God.

You will run into times of frustration, you will feel inept, you will feel overwhelmed…

…you…

…will…

…mess…

…up!

We all do but in the messes His Spirit and grace will teach us and direct us and bring us back on the path that He wants us to be on. That is, if our heart is where it should be. If our heart is in the state of longing for more and wanting what He wants in our life, He will meet us there. It may not be as frequently as we like or want, but when it does come…it is unexplainably amazing.

So here is what I want for you…Spirit, longing, hope, understanding, experience, love, being fused to God. Our mess ups aren’t a way out, or an excuse, they are growing experiences that will press us further into our calling. As we grow in our calling, as we grow in our ability to listen and hear God’s leading, we will become more and more in tune with His leading.

Don’t give up!

Don’t get tired!

Keep on working!

If you falter, if you wander, if you stumble, He is able to draw you back and prepare you for His work. This is the stipulation, while God can work through a heart that is not chasing after Him; He searches for the hearts that are hungry for what He has for them and speaks to them. He speaks His instructions for a life that brings Him glory. We work to provide an accepting environment in our heart to receive what He has for us.

We serve a God who calls us relentlessly as He searches for those who will search for His leading relentlessly.

We can’t be mistake free…but can we be relentless?

Can we resolve ourselves to not give up? To not give in to the chaos that surrounds us?

Do we believe…nothing…nothing…NOTHING is more precious than hearing from God?

Like Moses…

…like Samuel…

…like Isaiah…

…like Saul (Paul), Ananias, and the disciples?

You are called.

Do you believe that?

If not, I encourage you to just start saying to yourself, “I am called.” Start believing.

If you do, we must understand there is nothing more important than hearing God’s voice. We must search, we must long, we must listen. That time with God has to be our priority. This is the challenge before all of us. Let this not just be a once a year retreat, but a change in lifestyle, and an opportunity for us to lean on each other as we all travel this path of living out God’s calling!

Join me in this journey, let’s see what God can do through a group of His willing children.

Right here and now!

“When our core longing lines up with God’s calling we will see remarkable demonstration.”

Pieces of the Calling Puzzle

2011-12-12T13:22:00.000-05:00

(What you are about to read is a selection from a retreat I spoke at recently. It is based on the discussion of our calling and comes from Acts 9.)

“God’s calling can be powerful &/or subtle, but when we do not understand we must believe that there is a greater plan than what we see.”

There is a strange phenomenon that takes place when I walk out of church on a bright, sunny Sunday after church. The sun somehow becomes a thousand times brighter. Ok, not really, but because I have been inside the church for quite some time, when I walk out, my eyes haven’t adjusted and the normal brightness of the sun seems so much brighter.

Saul (later to be known as the apostle Paul) was a very religious man. By some people’s standards, Saul was a very good person that had a longing desire to do God’s will. We often paint him as a terrible man that killed Christians (and killing people isn’t a good thing, in case you were wondering), persecuted the church, and somehow hated God.

Let me offer a bit of a different perspective.

Saul was raised a Jew (as was Christ) and wasn’t just good enough to be a teacher of the Law (as Christ was), but was top notch at it (as Christ was). The place where he got mixed up is that, like many religious people of that time, he didn’t believe that Jesus was the Son of God. He believed in God, trusted God’s word, and lived a life that reflected that…except he didn’t believe in Jesus being the Christ (coming King, God in the flesh, the Messiah).

Why?

Well, everyone around him, his teachers, friends, leaders, and everyone around him told him that Jesus wasn’t the Christ. So if he went to anyone to ask questions about Jesus, he was pointed in the direction that Jesus was not this coming Messiah.

So, was he that bad? Or was it more misguided?

I mean how easy is it to give everything up that you have been taught for your entire life?

Well, once again, when you experience God…things change.

Did Saul have a heart for God?

I mean he was a “bad guy” in the Bible, right?

In short, yes, Saul was a bad guy. He followed closely the Law which has the commandment of “Thou shall not kill (murder).” However, he was a subordinate (or kind of like an employee) and not the main leader (employer), so he was being led in the wrong direction.

The point is, he was misguided and in a tough position to change what he believed. He was told by all that he trusted that he was doing the right thing, encouraged to continue, and praised for the work he did.

There were loopholes made in God’s Word to allow for removing those who would oppose, so Saul was ok.

Right?

Light!

Whammo, undeniable proof that he is wrong and is pointed into a new, correct direction. Everything is changed.

Everything.

The Light was so bright that it revealed the spiritual blindness, opened Saul’s spiritual eyes and yet left him physically blind.

Enter Ananias.

Now Ananias was on the other side of the coin, he did believe in Jesus. God called Ananias in a vision (kind of like a dream) and take notice how Ananias answered. Then God told Ananias to go find Saul and pray for him (Saul) to receive his sight.

Saul…the murderer…killer of Christians…of which Ananias was.

“Go!”

God basically said, “I got this, just go.”

What did Ananias do? He went.

Even though hesitant, Ananias realized that God was powerful enough to protect him especially since God called Him to go. Even if God chose for Ananias to die at Saul’s hand, it was God’s will. God had a plan, and Ananias wasn’t going to do anything but what God told Him to do.

I wonder in what ways we dim the light of Christ because we are afraid or do not trust, or are even misguided?

Because Ananias went, he not only survived and Saul didn’t kill him, but he was a huge part in the conversion of Saul into the apostle Paul. Paul, who was used to write two thirds of the New Testament, who was a major factor in building churches throughout the known world, who was a huge push in the spreading of the gospel, who was looked to as the human authority on all things of God…that Paul.

God’s calling changes a killer into THAT guy.

God’s calling allows people like Ananias to be a part of a much bigger plan.

God’s calling to us will accomplish His great plan and His will.

The great question is…is that what we want?

Do we want to be a part of His great plan?

God may not knock us off of a horse, He may not show us in a vision (although He might), but He will speak to us. Are we ready, listening, and prepared to go where and when He leads us?

Surreal Sonship

2011-12-07T09:20:00.001-05:00

"Son-ship [suhn-ship] noun-the state, fact, or relation of being a son."

Has something you have known to be true seemed so surreal until you have experienced it?

An example…

Vacation.

You have worked hard, saved up for, paid for, and set up the entire schedule and while anticipation builds, it is almost like you can’t believe you are on vacation until about the second day you are at your destination.

Yesterday (Monday, I began working on this on Tuesday), my son was born. It wasn’t a surprise. My wife would tell you that. My wife’s stomach grew with each passing month. The tests showed him growing and even showed us fuzzy little black and white photos of him during his occupancy in Denise’s stomach.

Even still, as the day approached, it was very surreal. Coming to the hospital, I knew why we were going, but it didn’t seem quite real.

I imagine it felt quite real to my wife before it did to me.

Now, I am sitting in our room, looking over and I see my wife sleeping with little Isaac on her chest and he is fast asleep as well all curled up and making cute little whimpers.

It is becoming more and more real.

I so look forward to experiencing more of this reality. As he grows and becomes who God has designed him to be, I can’t wait to continue to experience more and more of this reality.

I know this to be true because the same has been true of my sweet daughter.

However, I can’t help but think of the things I find myself feeling surreal about God.

My son is a reality.

Is God really a reality to me?

His love?

Mercy?

Grace?

His promises?

I could go on and on, I think we all could. I mean, to understand the spiritual aspects of reality…often times escapes me. I know it is there, I know because I have seen the evidence just as I saw the evidence that Isaac was coming into our world...

…yet it is surreal.

It makes me wonder if the following is true…

…until we experience the reality of God, He will continue to reside in our surrealistic subconscious.

If it is true, how many of us have experienced God? To some degree? A small amount? Consistently? Are we searching for that experience?

Or do we just experience nothing more than a surreal “sonship?”

If we walk through this life never experiencing the proverbial “birth” (or experience) of God, have we really experienced life?

If we walk through this life sporadically experiencing our Father, have we experienced life as He designed it…or is it kind of like a self-inflicted absentee father relationship? Broken, unfulfilling, wandering, hurting, alone, miserable, and with no end in sight, we rely on what little we know not having the valuable guide we are designed to have.

What if He, and all that He is, became a reality to us.

Realize, only He can do that. We do the searching, and He even helps with that, He does the connecting so that we may experience Him.

The story of Isaiah’s calling (Chapter 6) comes to mind.

Now THAT was an experience…

…or Saul (who turned into Paul (Acts 9).

The Bible is chocked full of stories of people who had reality changing experiences, and those experiences birthed a whole new truth in their lives.

So today, is your experience with God a surreal “sonship?” We all battle seasons of it. Don’t wait, don’t hesitate, start searching. Look for that experience, if you can’t or haven’t experience Him…ask Him to help and meet you. Just do what you know to do, however little you know, He is big enough to meet you and your longing heart.

I am going to spend time with my very real son.

God bless you as I hope you (and I) experience our very real God.

Necessary Revelation

2011-12-04T21:50:00.000-05:00

(What you are about to read is a selection from a retreat I spoke at this past weekend. It is based on the discussion of our calling and comes from Isaiah 6.)

“When we search for & gain a grander perspective of who God is, we align ourselves to more readily accept His calling & revelation.”

What do you know of God?

If you had to explain Him, how would you start?

Here is a scary question, what does it mean to be holy? What does that look like? We can’t fully understand the full holiness of God, but do we have any concept of what holiness is?

I ask because, why is it such a big deal that the angels cry, “holy, holy, holy…?”

Isaiah was a prophet in a pivotal time in Israel, what we are reading (Isaiah 6) is his dramatic calling. I have never experienced a calling like this, although I would like to…I think. In fact, not many are called in the same fashion as Isaiah. However, something interesting happens in Isaiah’s calling that I believe is vital when anyone is called.

Isaiah received a whole new perspective on God.

Isaiah didn’t earn it. God did the work by revealing Himself to Isaiah.

When Isaiah saw this new perspective, it blew him away and it completely changed him.

In essence, when Isaiah saw God in this way he said, “Whatever you want, whenever you want it, I will do it!”

Have you ever been mugged at gun point? The criminal may want your wallet or watch or purse or whatever. You give it to them because the value of what is in your wallet is not as valuable to you as your life…right?

What Isaiah witnessed of God so far surpassed anything Isaiah could imagine that anything God wanted him to do; he was going to do it. Basically, the richness and value of God’s desire and plan had to far surpass what Isaiah could do on his own with his life, so Isaiah laid his life down for God’s desire and calling.

So the question is, can we truly live out our calling without having any kind of deep experience with God?

Do we have to experience God before we can understand the gravity of His calling?

Remember, the calling probably won’t be as dramatic as Isaiah’s. However, the concept is the same for our calling.

How have we experienced God?

What is this holiness that Isaiah experienced of God that revolutionized his life?

What about the presence of God made Isaiah, a good guy by anyone’s standards, fall down with a deeper understanding of just how “unclean” he was?

What about the presence of God causes people to be “undone?”

What does “undone” even mean?

Are you open to being everything you have planned for your life turned upside down if it is what God wants?

I encourage you to enter into a time of worship, here is what the hope is…that we look for a deeper understanding of God…have that desire and enter into worship…with a searching…in the hopes that He reveals Himself to us.

That doesn’t mean we walk away with perfect clarity to every answer we will ever need.

It doesn’t mean we even have most of the answers.

It means that here and now, because of what we have experienced, we are ready and willing.

That is what experiencing God did for Isaiah.

Just look and listen for what God may want to do.

A Modest Lifestyle

2011-11-30T12:21:00.000-05:00

“We as believers cannot be so focused on the things of this world that we lose our focus on things of God. When we do, we become entrapped in the snare of the world that we do not reach our destination of helping those who cannot help themselves.”

Recently, I have joined in the craze of going to auctions. It has become something I really enjoy. I don’t go to them to buy anything for myself, I usually go to buy something at a low price and try to resell it and make a profit in the hopes of using that money to help those who cannot help themselves. I must admit, I bought my first item for myself…it was a $22 sander.

I enjoy the people I come into contact with, getting to know some of them enough to have conversations with and work towards building some sort of friendship. As much as I enjoy these auctions, and the rush you get when in attendance and bidding on something, it also troubles me.

Let me explain. I believe the United States to be one of the few, and maybe the only (maybe Canada?) countries to have storage units. Most of the rest of the world finds itself in little need of a storage unit, because they do not have excess…rather, they find themselves in need. It is an eye opening experience to go to storage facilities with hundreds upon hundreds of storage units that are jammed full of excess. Recently, I went to an auction and the owner had two 10x30 storage units since 1994…

…seventeen years…

…thousands upon thousands of dollars…

…spent to store excess…

…before the auction, she ran frantically into the storage facility office and pulled out seven one-hundred dollar bills and her treasure was saved.

I am not innocent in this. My eyes are opening more and more to the magnitude of the issue though. I am all about having nice things, having a nice meal, and even spending some money on things that are not absolutely necessary at times.

However, when I look at all I have…what is this temporal “stuff” saying about me and where my heart is?

Where is my treasure? (Matt. 6:21)

Am I so enamored with the thought of having a temporal item that I am willing to make a commitment to pay for it (often with interest) for several years, with the understanding that the money I am spending in this commitment binds me from committing that money to someone that has no ability to help themselves? We who follow Christ and His teachings must remember the teaching that God will provide (Matthew 6:25-34). I am such a pro at this lesson, let me tell you.

Another lesson, found in Luke 9:1-6, shows Christ sending out His disciples and telling them not to even take extra clothes, a staff, bag, bread, or extra money…wow. Now, let’s throw out there the argument that it was a different culture. I can see that, but even then, there is certainly a message on lifestyle.

While these seem extreme (and it was a different time period and culture), we cannot deny that there is a lesson to be learned and applied here. How hard are we working for things that do not matter in eternity? How long are we working to keep them, or get new temporary things? What are we sacrificing for them?

Is it really worth it?

Is He really worth it?

Are they really worth it?

Do we look different than the world in this matter? This matter in particular, our finances and time, impact so much…but I fear that we easily get swept away in it and get lost in the chaos. Then we find ourselves in the rat race wishing (hopefully) that we could help out those in need but are so bound up that we can’t see the light of day.

I don’t have any definitive answers, because I don’t know everyone’s situations. I do know that we must work and sacrifice to get to the place where we cannot be so enamored with unnecessary “stuff” and focus on the priority of sharing His love at any cost.

Innocent Inaccuracies

2011-11-28T08:45:00.000-05:00

(What you are about to read is a selection from a retreat I spoke at this past weekend. It is based on the discussion of our calling and comes from I Samuel 3.)

"In the midst of our shortcomings, God still calls us & desires our willingness to obey His calling."

Have you ever made a mistake?

Dumb question, right?

We all do. Sometimes I get so worried about making a mistake that I am too cautious about even moving. After all, it would be better to stay and not make a mistake than to move and mess up, right?

That really is not true.

This is one of my toughest battles.

I don’t like to fail…mess up…or miss the goal.

Samuel was young and innocent. The kingdom around him had become corrupt & scandalous. Eli, the current prophet, knew of the corruption & did little to nothing about it. These situations cause very little communication from God.

That says a lot about how God feels in the matter of knowing about sin & not doing anything to rectify the situation.

Eli was a religious leader, & yet had gotten stuck in the rut of complacency. We all end up there sometime, but we can’t stay there as he did. In the midst of all of this, Eli was in charge of making sure Samuel was progressing along the path of becoming a prophet. Samuel was being raised in this mess & he did not know God because God hadn’t revealed Himself to him

God…hadn’t…revealed.

Imagine sleeping & you hear an audible voice that wakes you from sleep. I mean, that happens occasionally, & Samuel thought it was something along the normal lines and when he heard this voice he went to see what Eli wanted.

Only it wasn’t Eli.

The same thing happened again…

…still not Eli.

Three times…

…three strikes.

Finally, Eli (the guy who was supposed to be God’s man) figured it out and told Samuel that it was God calling him. Eli told Samuel to go back to bed and answer God and, “tell God to speak” because he (Samuel) was ready to listen.

Tell God to speak? Say something, I am ready. It reminds me of the Centurion (Matthew 8) that asked Christ to just “say the word” and his servant would be healed. When God speaks, powerful things happen. So our request is…”God, please say something!” When God calls, He wants to say something…but are we listening?

Do you ever wonder if you are hearing from God or not?

I do…

…all …the…time.

Is it possible that God’s calling is persistent even when we mess up?

Is it possible that if I mess up, He won’t give up on me?

Is it possible that He is that patient…faithful…and loving?

I am not suggesting that God is ok with sin, I am suggesting that He is patient with those who seek Him and innocently make errors in the way they pursue Him.

Is this true?

Did God still speak to Samuel, even after three strikes?

Yes…

…and it was a powerful and hard message…

…a message against Eli, against God’s messenger, against Samuel’s mentor, against the country, against the people (Eli’s sons) who were supposed to take over and be in charge.

That isn’t a message I would want to deliver. Why didn’t God tell all of this to Eli?

Even though the message was tough, it was what God said. It was what Samuel was called to. This was the beginning of Samuel becoming the man the nation looked to. God speaking to a person and empowering a person, and that person’s obedience does that. It changes things. It puts you where God wants you to be, be a tough place, a place of power, or a place of humility.

God will put you right where He wants you, if we listen. Samuel made some mistakes, but his heart was truly open to God’s calling and he was obedient to share it when God spoke.

So, what does this look like for you?

Here and now, what is God saying to you? We can so easily hear what the world and everything around us is saying because it is screaming in our face…but what is God’s still…small…voice saying?

It is ok to not know, but it is not ok to not search and listen.

Unfit

2011-11-21T11:50:00.000-05:00

(What you are about to read is a selection from a retreat I spoke at this past weekend. It is based on the discussion of our calling and comes from Exodus 3 & 4.)

"When you are called, God will do the work through you. God’s calling will never lead you to a place where His grace won’t provide."

Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough? Maybe you thought you could do something, but there were others that were better at it so you didn’t try because you knew someone else would be better than you? Maybe they were more talented, or were a better speaker, or were more organized, or whatever. Maybe you felt like you were a complete screw up and if you tried you would just mess everything up. So, you just sat back, watched it all unfold with a longing heart…

…wishing you were someone else…

…or something else…

…or had just tried.

You may say to yourself, “I wish I was like someone else.” Or, “I am not good at anything.” Maybe it isn’t quite that severe, but you just don’t feel like you are anything special.

I beg to differ.

I think Moses (yes THAT Moses) felt pretty lousy for a large portion of his life. He was once the guy who lived in the palace with the Pharaoh and was considered royalty. Many of us saw the movie “The Prince of Egypt” and actually, his life was a lot like that in the early days. He was pampered, loved, well taken care of.

He wanted for nothing.

Yet he felt a pull in his heart because he knew he wasn’t an Egyptian. He started searching and found out that he was an Israelite, the very people that were enslaved in Egypt. I imagine this weighed quite heavily on his mind and eventually…long story short, he stood up for an Israelite that was being beaten and he ended up leaving the palace and all the pampering. He ran away and we find him in Exodus 3-4 tending sheep for his father-in-law.

There may be a few exceptions to the rule, but not many guys want to grow up and work for their father-in-law.

Moses went from the palace to the field watching sheep.

Can you imagine what went through his mind every day as he sat there, watching the stinky sheep eat grass for hours on end? I can’t speak for him, but I would have often thought of the life that I had lived and what would have happened if I had made different choices. I imagine he probably grew comfortable in this life though, realizing it also could have turned out much worse.

So he sat…in a field…watching stinking sheep…for his father-in-law…forever.

Thinking, “This is it.”

“THIS is IT?”

That is, until he saw something.

I like fire, I like to watch it, and something about it can be entrancing. However, this fire was much different. It burned brightly enough to get Moses’ attention, yet the fire didn’t consume or burn the bush. It was kind of just…there.

Then it spoke.

Well, the bush didn’t really, but God spoke from the bush.

God called out to Moses, and Moses said, “Here I am.”

Then (short version) God told him, “I want you to save my people.” Moses stammers and stumbles and comes up with every excuse as to why he isn’t good enough to be that guy.

Ever been there?

God does not relent, but continues to tell Moses that he is the one who has been chosen and called to do this great work. How does God assure Moses? He promises that He (God) will be with him (Moses), and promises that He (God) will bring Israel out of Egypt.

Moses continues to try to get out of this. Why? Sometimes when God calls you to do something you have to face your fears, you have to face the decisions you have made in the past, you have to face the matters that seem bigger than you, you will not be comfortable, you will have to move, and it…will..be.. scary…BUT…

…God is with you.

God finally tells Moses (short version), “You will go!”

Moses realizes there is no talking God out of this, which is interesting, I mean you are trying to change God’s mind while talking to a burning bush. Odd.

Moses came to the realization that here and now, at this burning bush in the middle of nowhere, God has called me and I must go.

Undone?

2011-11-15T09:40:00.000-05:00

What is your concept of God?

What do you know of Him?

It is often presumed that I have some fantastic grasp on who God is. I find the facts to be quite the contrary, especially as I read the sacred Scripture.

I read verses that tell me to “…be holy for I (God) am holy.”

Then I read about Isaiah that was absolutely undone in the presence of God because of the magnitude of His (God’s) holiness.

The concept of being so holy that it makes a man come undone…honestly, I don’t get it. I want to, but I think I would be lying if I tried to describe it as though I understood it fully.

I mean, I do understand, but it may be better said that I do not understand it in an experiential way.

And I am supposed to be holy…

…I don’t think I have been taking this seriously enough.

It sounds so simple doesn’t it? A sort of “Just do it!”

We are called to be holy, and yet, we have no ability to do it ourselves. He must do it through us. So when we are called to be holy as He is, we are called to be set apart for His work, His leading, His…well…whatever He wants. It involves believing not only that He is who He says He is, but also that He can do with us what He wishes and we should be ok with that…

…not only that…

…but we should be looking forward to it, longing for it, and hoping patiently for Him to do what He wants with us.

Uhhh.

My humanness does not like that, my humanness fights against that. I want to get things done and work hard to get to the place that I want to be and God can have what is left when I am done with that goal.

What if that isn’t what He wants?

What if my being holy is based on my availability to Him?

How available I am in my time, my consciousness, my focus, my desires, my hopes and dreams?

What if that amazing TV show isn’t nearly as amazing as hearing from Him?

I am growing more and more bored with the things I used to find so enamoring, I find that there is no satisfaction in them. I find that when the day is over and I look back to see what I accomplished, I wish that I had spent more time with Him.

Is this the beginning?

Maybe this life is about more than just what we experience in the flesh…maybe it really is more about spiritual matters…

…I mean I know that…

…but I don’t act like it.

Maybe it is true; when my core longings line up with God’s calling I will experience remarkable demonstration.

My holiness or being set apart for His work is reliant on Him, it is desperate for His Spirit’s working in and through me, it is me trusting that He is worth it…all the time, in every capacity, and is the only fulfilling source in my life.

I might get an iota of this, but I want to “get it” in a deeper way. What a wonderful journey…what a lot to think about…what a God.

Thoughts?

Reverse Engineering God

2011-11-09T09:26:00.001-05:00

I am the type of guy that is a hands on learner. If you tell me how to do something, there is a good chance that I may not fully understand what you are talking about unless I see a picture or have an object in hand. This has always schooling a bit difficult for me. I have mentioned that before on this blog, so I won’t beat the proverbial dead horse.

All that to say, if I have had to work on a car, the house, or anything of that variety I often have to just dig in and once I tear it all apart I can often figure out how it works. When I gain this understanding I better grasp what the function of the gadget and can either fix it or find the problem.

It is really a matter of being able to deduce what the problematic issue is because by what you experience you know what the proper function of the gadget is.

Since it isn’t operating correctly, something is wrong. I have found out that this is often how reverse engineering works. The apparatus may not necessarily be broken, but in order to figure out how something works, you tear it apart.

That’s the layman’s explanation.

I have become interested in the thought, recently, in the idea of going through this process with God.

Basically, for example, because God is _______, then He must be ___________.

I have found in my brief journey through this that it wrecks my human rationale, that is, if I honestly try to rationalize who God is by this process then I have to admit things about God that defy my human ability to wrap my mind around God. I believe this is a good thing.

I won’t say this process is completely faultless, because I haven’t wrestled with it long enough.

The reason I bring it up, though, is what if we started with the thought that God is who He says He is first. I think a lot of times, those who have a desire to understand this God beyond comprehension try to build up an understanding (human) in the hopes of forming a concept of who God is. The problem is that God is spiritual (Yes, He was flesh too–Christ) so to try to understand him using human, physical rationale is faulty.

It isn’t just apple and oranges. It is something beyond even apples and astrophysics.

Yet, we keep trying.

The only way to grasp a deep understanding of God is for Him to reveal Himself to us. While god has been known to reveal Himself to those far from Himself, for those who believe, we spend much of our time preparing ourselves for the times that God does reveal Himself. We prepare. If we do not prepare (spiritually), we tend to veer wildly back into normalcy, comfort, and human rationale.

So, we do not prepare, and when God chooses to reveal, are we paying attention or explaining why God cannot be this, or would never do that…even if the Bible disagrees.

What if God is who/what He says He is…and we start there.

What if, instead of us (limited) trying to figure Him (unlimited) out, we trust that He is unlimited and is the only One who can explain Himself to we who are limited?

What if we finally humble ourselves to understand that, and in the meantime…while we are waiting for further revelation, we prepare and seek.

What if we were desperately dependent upon God for everything, including understanding Him?

What if we really relied on Him to explain Himself, and when He did, we were ok with that…even if it changed our mind on what we have always thought about Him?

What if we trusted that He was in control?

What if we believed that the people in power were placed there?

What if we are more limited than we would like to admit?

What if we humbled ourselves and prayed, in general, and then for revelation?

It seems kind of...I don't know..."duh"...and yet, it is really so much more.

As I said, I am still working through this and I am sure it isn’t ironclad…but it is very thought provoking to me. I hope it is to you as well. Love to hear from you. I am a learner, so feel free to give me different perspective as well.