Tuesday, June 26, 2007

A Broken simpleMind

I think a lot.

That doesn’t mean I think ABOUT a lot,

It just means I sit and think about…simple things…a lot.

I think sometimes, like today, of why I was placed in this time period in history.

I honestly believe that I was designed, created, placed with perfect precision into the life I now live. For that to be true, that means there are purposes for my life. Some I will without a doubt fail at, hopefully not the big things, and some I will succeed in. I get the opportunity to make my decisions when the situations arise, however, as I am designed, there are some things I am made to accomplish.

Weird.

So how do I find out what I am supposed to accomplish?

Think about that for a second, if we ARE designed, created, and placed that means someone put us here and has a reason for it, correct? That person would have an understanding of what we were designed to do, right? I mean what creative person designs an intricately made guitar and uses it for a hammer? The designer has a purpose in mind, and it is to lightly strum the perfectly designed guitar to make music.

I sometimes struggle, and sometimes REALLY struggle, as I live out this lifelong journey of finding out whom this simpleMan is, with getting worked up on what’s next. Where am I supposed to go, what am I supposed to do? How can this be fixed? And I am sure you can fill in the blanks with your own questions so I don’t ramble on with my own.

Maybe, and remember I struggle with this; I shouldn’t be worrying about my situations as much as I should be worrying about who I am according to what I am designed to be. Maybe if I take care of who I am, the situations (while not always peachy) will present an answer in themselves. Maybe if I take care of who I am, and am becoming my very actions will open the door that I so long for because by taking care of who I am my actions change and the doors become open due to this change in action.

Maybe…

Whoa.

I don’t know, I just find the further I am away from the Designer, the less I understand what I have been designed for. The closer I am to Him, the more clearly I “get it.” The further I am, the more frustrated, lost, and in the dark I feel. The closer I am, while not saying I have a full clear view, I do see more noticeably the action/direction I should head in.

A simpleMan for such a time as this?

The painfully thought-filled simpleMan.

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