Friday, November 23, 2007

You, Me, Creeps, & Weirdos

I used to have a problem…

You may sit there if you know me very well and say…Used to? Pretty sure you have a problem…actually many problems NOW!?!?!

To those of you who would say that…I say…

Shaddup!

In love of course.

I used to, and to some degree still do struggle, with low self-esteem. I am a far cry from who I used to be, but the video on here used to be my favorite song because I always felt that it depicted me…it is still such an amazing song.

Radiohead-Creep



Now I am not bashing this song in any way, I actually still think this song is one of my top 5 favorite songs…so descriptive and yet simple…wonderful.

I was sitting and sifting through some of the songs I used to listen to avidly and this was one of them, as was listening I pulled up the lyrics. You know as much as I felt I fit in with the lyrics before… and can still relate to them, I realized something…

While I still feel like a “creep”…

I am special.

I am not going all froo-froo on you, and to the outside world I may not be very special at all…but I don’t have a longing to feel special because I feel like I already am (some would argue that I am special in more ways than one). Not only do I have a great family surrounding me, I have friends, I have people who don’t know me all that well that would go to bat for me if I needed them to and of course to top it all off…

I have my Creator.

The song poses the question, “What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here!” I guess I know what I am doing here…and I do belong here…even when I don’t want to be here, I know why I am here. I may not want to do what I am supposed to do, but I know what I am supposed to be doing.

I DO belong HERE!

I don’t want to go on and on…but just realize something…

We may be creeps…we may be weirdos…but we are accepted.

Maybe not by the people we come across everyday…but we are accepted…and if you call yourself a “Christian” and you can’t accept a “Creep” or a “Weirdo” … I pity you, because you are missing out on some of the most fantastic people God has ever made, and I am sure that you will find that out soon enough, don’t forget the whole He died for ALL…you, me, creeps, and weirdo’s.

Blah, blah, blah…

So accepted is the “creep” simpleMan.

P.S. So are you, my “creepy” “weirdo” friends!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving...Or Not.

I hope anyone who reads or follows these blogs doesn’t look to me as a person that has any wisdom.

I know what you’re thinking, don’t sweat it simpleMan…never crossed my mind.

That is comforting…

You know, Thanksgiving is just about my favorite holiday, I love what it is, what it stands for and I even love the way it is celebrated. You usually sit around a table with family and/or friends and eat, share stories, catch up, B.S., or whatever…the point is you spend time with each other not in front of the tube…but actually talking face to face with each other…maybe for the first time since last Thanksgiving.

I could argue the points about the other holidays being better or worse…but I am not going to…I would rather focus on all that we have…and how very thankful we should be. We who may be reading this very blog must have a computer or access to one, have access to an internet service, more than likely meaning we have access to a phone, and if we are in a place that has access to a phone more than likely there is access to other “essentials” such as running water, even running hot water. We also have a roof over our head since I know very few (I honestly couldn’t name one) who have access to a computer and do not have a roof over their heads. I could go on and on about so many things…cars for example.

We have so much, and yet we feel as if we should be entitled to so much more because we may know a handful of people that have more stinking wealth than we do and if I am being honest…well…I think you get the point.

And sadly…

I am guilty.

I love football, and I even look forward to the games on Thanksgiving…but it is so much more than that…I mean we have football on Sundays for approximately half the year (including pre-season and playoffs) why does football come to our minds to be synonymous with Thanksgiving? We have food everyday (I go back to my rant about all that we have) why is that synonymous with Thanksgiving? Sure turkey is mostly holiday specific with Thanksgiving and oh yeah...the parade…but I certainly hope to GOD it is about more than a blasted turkey or a hot air induced parade.

What have we done to this beautiful holiday here in America? Have we become such pathetic, sense of entitled people that we have somehow felt we have nothing to be thankful for? We have approximately the same amount of celebration and maybe more for a Hallmark induced holiday such as Sweetest Day (Wasn’t valentine’s enough for Pete’s sake…o wait…money…DUH!) as we do for a holiday that could actually stand for something.

Maybe it all comes down to Thanksgiving Day just not being marketable enough for those who want our money, maybe doesn’t get the ratings for the media, maybe “thanks” just isn’t a part of our culture.

This has nothing with religion …I just think it would be nice if every once in a while people would get outside of themselves and be thankful for something once in a while…including myself.

It would be even nicer…if more than just a handful actually cared or were actually thankful, I know some are out there…but I feel as if they are on the endangered species list.

Thank you for reading…

Or not…

You know…whatever.

So grumbles a simpleMan.

P.S. I honestly do hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving…really!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

simpleTravel (pt.8)

Day 5

Back to simpleTime, back to simpleLife.

The trip is over and I got back at the Canton/Akron AP @ about 11:15 or so and left about 11:30 or so. I am sooooo tired, lol.

All in all, there were several things good and several things not so good…do you believe I forgot my cell today as I came in to work?

What an idiot.

In for work today, just now (3.5 hours after I got here) able to sit and write much of anything to whomever you all are that read…

Anyway…

That was the trip…

I am sure I will remember more later, but yeah….

So survived the simpleMan

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

simpleTravel (pt.7)

Day 4

7:22pm simpleTime
7:22pm HOTLANTA time…lol!!

Yes, yes, yes, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

I am STUCKin Atlanta for 3 hours because my connecting flight was so late….WOOOOO!!!

At least I have a little time to sit back and do some people watching, a hobby I love but have lost time for.

I did manage to get a class BASICALLY done before I left on the last flight, so I am a little more optimistic about life in general.

Another YP didn’t make the flight like me and BLEW UP at the guy working the desk…not THAT guys fault, and was giving him all sorts of attitude. I walk up, already figuring that we missed our flight, and after that dude left on a bit of a temper tantrum, I walk up and hand him my ticket and say, “Same situation as him.” The Delta guy says, “Same situation, different attitude.” And smirked, after that I asked if there was a phone available that wasn’t a payphone so I could call the simpleWife so she wouldn’t be at the AP for like 4 hours. I told him I forgot my phone at home or I would have used that, he said, “Well, I didn’t forget my phone at home.” I was a little like…what? But then I noticed he was pulling out HIS phone for me to use.

Niiiiiccceeee!

Left a message with the simpleWife, all is well.

Interesting…

The guy I was with isn’t a bad guy, and sure we took and different flight to help them out…but it would have helped us out too had it worked. So anyway, just interesting what we as believers look like with our attitudes…

I am guilty more often than I like…

And I get up and tell people we have to be different…

Just made me think…

Anyway, he was so distressed he didn’t even want to go get a coffee or anything…too bad, it would have been free.

Back to people watching….wahooo…

So watches the simpleMan.

OOHHHH CHICK FIGHT!!!! Lol

Meh…no fight…lots of cussing and shoving. Thought for sure there was going to be a rumble though…good stuff.

Again…so watches the simpleMan.

simpleTravel pt.6

Day 4 (Last Day)…will have one for day 5 as I will probably be dead tired tonight and getting in late…so final installation tomorrow.

12:00pm simpleTime
10:00am CS Time

So here it is, the last day. Last night was decent and this morning has gone well. I ran into a guy named Bryan earlier in the week at breakfast and happened to run into him again at dinner last night. We ended up talking and while I had planned to go to my room and pack and do the miscellaneous we went to watch the football game, hang out, and get a milk shake @ Denny’s.

We stayed there and talked for quite some time and it was pretty refreshing. So I went up to my room and it was pretty late and I still needed to pack.

Well, as we know simpleMan, is always working towards simplicity. This includes packing (to the point of forgetting a few things but in the long run simpleMan has found it the best way overall), so simpleMan brought a small suitcase and the laptop bag.

Then simpleMan buys a few things for simpleWife and simpleMother-in-Law…

simpleMan SMASH lol

It miraculously fit after my sper-human SQUISHING abilities; I decided to leave some of the useless freebies I had gotten behind.

Funny side note: right now I am sitting across the foyer from the evangelism Linebacker and he is doing some sort of interview because he is planning on co-pastoring a church plant. Cool stuff…

Back to simpleTravel…

So I got up early today and was SOOOO tired, but breakfast was at 6:30am (WHY!?!?!?) but since I had eaten sooo much recently, I was fine with skipping which I ended up doing because I was waiting for Allen so I could put my stuff in the car. He ended up taking his stuff out early cus he couldn’t sleep…so I was waiting for him…and he wasn’t in much of a hurry.

Meh…no biggie…

I am a warm-blooded person by nature, but I have got to tell you I went up to the conference for the morning session…let’s just say I type now with ice-cubes and not my normal ten digits…COLD!

So I am heading back up I a few, (bout 45 mins) to wrap up and then to the AP (Airport). I will try to at least report in when I get to Cincy…but otherwise tomorrow. Hope everyone….yes, all two of you, has enjoyed simpleTravel…tomorrow…the conclusion!

So freezes the simpleMan.

Monday, September 24, 2007

simpleTravel pt. 5

Day 3
12:03pm simpleTime
10:03am CS Time

One thing I have forgotten to mention, I have decided to mention now…since this will be my only time stolen today (Very hectic today) and will not be on till later tonight. In this hotel, which is very nice, my room is almost the furthest room away from the lobby/Conference center. There are only like 4 rooms further away, honestly. This place is THE most confusing hotel I have ever been in, (And for those of you who went to Detroit with me…that is saying a lot) I feel like every time I go to my room or head to the conference center I enter Pan’s Labyrinth. I have yet to run into the faun, but there is a little Hispanic man that had he not had a hat on, I believe he could have been faun indeed.

I have figured out something like 5 different ways to get back and forth, non-the-less, I feel that I have found the quickest way…and with only half a day left lol.

While there, of course, are some draw backs, I am nearly finished with another class, I do NOT have to put the toilet seat down for the first time in several years, and I do NOT have to make my bed! HA!

Not much longer before I have to go, and I want to wrap up this class work today too, so, this will be a short entry for simpleTravel.

Till this evening…simpleMan must brave the Labyrinth, fauns or not…some things must be done.

So ventures the simpleMan.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

simpleTravel (pt.4)

Day 2
9:10pm simpleTime
7:10pm CS Time

So I decided with some of the extra time I took to work on some church work, guess I should give some background.

I ended up writing three papers for my schoolwork, I put he three papers on a jump drive (there are like 12 different names for the USB storage drive, but that what I call a jump drive.) So I was going to bring it home so the simpleWife could check/edit them for me.

Once again, simpleMan forgets…OYE!

Well that is all well and good, until I get here and go to work on the church stuff, which I thought I had saved on the good ol’ laptop….NOPE!

It is ALSO on the jump drive.

WHY!?!?!

Well anyway I began working on the schoolwork I brought to be somewhat productive, because I am once again skipping something…but let me tell you why…

Tonight after dinner is the entertainment styling of the Colorado Wranglers…a country western band and cowboy humor…

If you know the simpleMan…you know simpleMan does not do country, especially the type of styling that are similar to the Colorado Wranglers.

Yee-haw ya’ll!

My first break after the Pike’s Peak I napped a bit, woke up to see the Browns within striking distance…field goal GOOD…THE BROWNS ARE 2-1!!!

Ohh..wait…it’s the Browns.

Yeah, time out called before the kick. Rekick…aaannndddd BLOCKED!

Daft!

So suffers the simpleMan.

simpleTravel (pt. 3)

Day 2
6:42pm simpleTime
4:42pm CS Time

So the beds here are pretty nice, easy to sleep in and not the status quo cardboard mattress for a hotel. Today I got up and went to breakfast, and had a “service” and it was…meh…ok.

Allen looked over and said, “Hey…let’s roll.” While we were getting ready to get out of here, he overheard that Pike’s Peak wasn’t too far away. In fact it was about 30 minutes away, so off we went. It took longer to get up ON Pike’s Peak…but WOW…WOW…WOWWW.

To say it was amazing is an understatement. It is 20 miles to get up Pike’s Peak, and you literally have your heads in the clouds, you get out to go look around and your head gets like and your chest begins to pound a little because the air is so thin…what an experience!

Of course no camera, no phone, and not much of a way to share the experience, but now I have some memories and these feeble words to use to describe the amazing landscape these simpleEyes have taken in.

After seeing that, I had to skip some more “stuff” and take a little nap, do some church work, and watch some football!

More later, hopefully, but the week is going fairly well so far…tomorrow could be the sticking point.

So marvels the simpleMan

Saturday, September 22, 2007

simpleTravel (pt.2)

Day 1
3:00pm simpleTime
5:00pm Colorado Time

…and yes I know the proper terms for the time zones.

Well we were boarding the flight from Cincy to CS (Colorado Springs) and a guy from Baltimore sat next to me and it turned out he was also going to the CMA conference in CS. We began talking and he said he was going to rent a car so I could ride with him….

…Things are beginning to look a little brighter.

I was talking to him about the conference and how I wanted to find a time to get away and just hang out and … I dunno…watch a movie or something. He said, well since I rented a car I am sure we can find a time to do that…

…Excellent…

We talked back and forth about several things and it made the 2.5 hr flight go a little smoother. We land and lo and behold…the dude rented a new Dodge Charger…

…sweet…

We got to the hotel and I go to check in…

I have NO roommate!

Fantastic news!

So I take my time and get organized, actually iron my khaki pants…nothing better…oh oh oh…and get on here…yep, charge to get online. I don’t know if I will ever get that…anywhoo…if you see this before Tuesday, it means I caved to THE MAN and paid the lousy $10 to sign on for a day.

And since I forgot my simplePhone…it’s probably going to happen.

More later…

So settles the simpleMan.

Day 1
10:37pm simpleTime
8:37pm CS time

So, tonight I went to dinner and sat with Allen (Dude from plan and has the Charger) and out of no where this guy comes up and sits by us and LO AND BEHOLD this was a dude in my group from DCLA…odd.

As I was finishing up my fajitas, I look up and what do my wondering eyes see?

THE EVANGELISM LINEBACKER!!!! WHAT!?!?! WOW!!!

So I go up and introduce myself to him and talk to him for a few, he isn’t as tall as my but thickness…he is about two of me lol.


After dinner and chatting with peeps for some time we had our first meeting…OYE…def going to have to sneak out.

More tomorrow, I am tired and jet lagged and missing some of the importatn details of today, but tomorrow will be chocked full of boring meetings so I will have plenty of time to catch up.

Till then…

So sleeps the simpleMan.

simpleTravel (pt.1)

(While I normally use this for other types of subject matter…well read on, communication is a little… bah, just read!)

Day 1 (Cinncy)

Everyone has forgotten something as you prepare to travel on a trip, it has happened to just about everyone at some point in life. While this is true, simpleMan many times is knows for being a proficient packer, well organized, thinking of things that many would forget. I plan, even with my proficiency, for there to be some mistakes and some forgetfulness, and basically go by something similar to a handicap in golf, this trip (since I wasn’t particularly excited about going) a hefty 5 “swing” handicap meaning I would forget up to 5 things. Since simpleMan is known for his aptitude in packing and traveling…a rather lofty handicap that shouldn’t be a problem.

I am nearing failure on day ONE!

I get out of the car, as I was dropped off by simpleWoman (my lovely wife) and a friend. I walk off to the side to get organized and get my bearings (A wise decision…or so I thought) only to remember, “Where is my phone?” I had plugged it in for a charge when we left the house…and therefore, I am out my celly.

I really like my cell, has GPS and you can locate local restaurants, movie theaters and things of that sort. I was hoping to rely heavily on it especially as I was hoping to either sneak out for a meeting or go out after we had finished. If I got lost, GPS, so I can find my way back. AWESOME!!!

Or not…

Cus it is in my lovely Vue at the Yankee Peddler…BAH! Lol.

Oh, but that is just the beginning…

It gets better….AND I AM NOT IN COLORADO YET!

My travel agents print out said my flight leaves from CAK @ 11:20. I get to the AP (Airport cus I am lazy) at about 10:00 to 10:15 so I think, “Gee whiz, I should eat something. So I get myself a subway sub and a coffee…I have three bites left and I hear, “This is the last call for flight XYZ departing to Cincinnati, the last call for flight XYZ to Cincinnati.” I am sitting there swallowing a poorly chewed piece of sub and thinking, “Nooo waaayy!”

I immediately open my info for the flight and while the print out from the agent said 11:20; the one the lovely simpleWoman printed out for me this morning said 10:45. Of course, I didn’t look at it because I KNEW what I was doing….right.

Daft!

I still haven’t gone throw “Operation: Probe the Passenger” yet. While it is a small AP, my gate was the furthest away.

I somehow made it, but I missed the ramp and had to manually walk out and onto the jet.

Fun.

I arrive in Cincy and get a coffee to wait out my over an hour layover. I begin to think, man the schedule for this thing is brutal, I wonder when/if I will get to walk for exercise?

Oh, that’s right…YOU DIDN”T BRING YOUR SHOES!

Idiot.

I am sure I forgot something to say in this initial report…but yeah, I am already down to a -2.5 on my handicap (.5 because I am not REALLY sure I would get to exercise in the first place.) Nice start and I am not even there yet.

Till a few hours from now! WAHOOO!!!

Please take it easy on the texts and cell calls…for obvious simpleMinded reasons.

So travels the simpleMan.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Jean-eric Con-denim-ation




Please watch video first….

So, as funny as this video is, and as much as I would LOVE to say that I hadn't had this conversation with people from my church…I have. I have sat down with some people/persons and been told that dressing casual can be seen as a reflection of the heart and could be seen as someone taking a casual approach to their relationship with God.

How do I even rebuttal? Well, I am sure many of you have already thought of several of my rebuttals, so I won't go exhaustively into all of mine.

But I have to say this…because I am not going into all the other rebuttals…this argument…

Absolutely

Hurts

My heart!

It makes me tired, and all the other arguments like it, these types of things make me so weary and honestly…it absolutely makes me unhappy.

In recent days I have been yelled at for having a sip of coffee in a large covered mug in the sanctuary (before church time) because it was, "holy ground". I have been told to "SHUUUUUSH" for trying to gently play my guitar during prayer time, although it is ok for the piano to do so. I have had the discussion about jeans in church as well and a few others. I have had digs tossed at me about how I go about doing what I do in ministry. I have had people try to impose their will into my ministry even though it isn't their ministry to impose their will.

So…why?

Why do I do what I do…and the only thing I can think of is…is because even though these issues are so huge to those people that push them…in all reality, and to me…I have bigger and more important things to do then to play these games. I don't have coffee in the sanctuary any more, I don't play my guitar during prayer, I don't wear jeans to Sunday morning services, and while I take stands in protecting the ministry God has placed me in…I still let people be as involved as they wish…within reason.

So am I a complete pushover? Nope. In each of the cases listed (except the shush whom I am not sure who did it, since they did it from the midst of the congregation while I was on stage) I addressed the situation head on, I told them fully that I disagreed, and told them the only reason I was going to not do those things anymore was because I loved them, not because they were wrong.

I am tired of fighting, and to be honest, I need prayer because my leash of submission is getting shorter and shorter. I pray to have a gentle strength, and I may realize that as great as it is to have that…the cost of attaining it may be a lot higher than I imagined.

There may be more to this later….but for now…

So plods the simpleMan.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

"Way" to "More"

Eternal life…

What is that?

It’s a curious thing to think about.

Eternity is defined as infinite time, duration without beginning or end.

Can you believe in that? How can that exist? I have mentioned numerous times about scientific laws are fact and theories are not scientifically proven at all. Well one of the laws of thermodynamics is the law of entropy, which is the law that everything is running down. A kind of, your dying as soon as you’re born type of law, a law that is a sort of downer, if you will.

So how is there more? You know more. That feeling hat you get, that there must be more than this. Well, I believe there is, but how can that be if everything is wearing down? Life wears down, at least, how we know it…it all ends. So we come to the conclusion that if there is more, there must be something we cannot experience fully here in this life, because this life wears out and we end up being dust.

If I cannot experience the “more” fully in this life how do I get in connection with the “more”? Well there are several theories on that, I mean if you look at all the thousands of different religions out there, and then add in everyone’s “educated” guesses, for example, I talked to a chap recently that believed (honestly he does) that just like in a comic strip God is asleep and dreaming (you know with the little cloud like bubble above His head) and when He wakes up we are done because we are His dream.

And that is what his life is based on.

I say that because look at people’s actions, I mean it, look at them. People will act out what they believe will happen in the future. For the Buddhist, they follow the teachings and live a life that adheres to what the teachings of that religion say they should do.

I guess I am similar, but I follow Christ, now having said that…I want to also add, I am in the “ministry”…so how many of you stopped reading? Why do I even ask that question? Well, because I am fully aware that there are a lot of “Christians” out there that are in NO WAY like my Jesus, THE Jesus and because of that drag His name through the mud and in my opinion, and in many cases, have no right to call themselves by the “Christian” name.

I have gone to 4th of July celebrations where people walk down the street with huge banners condemning Harry Potter readers and immediately passing judgment on anyone that picks a Harry Potter book up. This is Jesus? Jesus could handle a woman caught in adultery with truth and grace and we can’t handle a book? A BOOK! We can’t handle that with any amount of grace?

Which brings me to the point where I must tie all of this together, I am a Christian, and I do believe there is something far greater awaiting me after I pass. I believe that I have made the contact to that greater thing I mentioned earlier, the “more”. That connection comes through my belief in Christ, His sinless life, His death, and His resurrection.

Now I want you to think…whether you don’t believe, whether you are the guy holding the banner, whether you have been saying amen through this whole thing, or whether you are one of the miscellaneous others…If you are out there and you are representing my Jesus in a way that causes slander to His name, causes people to build a wall against a true, honest belief in Christ, cause people to view church as an organized religion as opposed to a place of healing, a place of forgiveness (remember that? Yeah We were forgiven at some point…and guess what…we STILL are… but for the grace of God there go I), a place of hope, a place of restoration…and yes it IS a place of TRUTH…but TRUTH with GRACE doesn’t make it any less truth…TRUTH without GRACE does make TRUTH less received, and therefore less productive… and if our purpose, as Christians, is to point people to what we feel passionately is the “More” then we would be dropping the ball, and not just any ball…we would be dropping the most important ball of all!

I am passionate about the way I know leads to the “More”, I believe it to be the only true way to the “More”, and when I see the only way to the “More” being handled with foolishness, selfishness, legalistic ruling, graceless, hypocrisy, Pharisee-like actions, it really gets under my skin. Jesus told the lady caught in adultery to “Go and sin no more”, He gave here truth…but only after He had shown grace to her and saved her life from being destroyed.

Acting like Jesus doesn’t mean we work towards perfection and point at those who further behind us in the perfection race. Acting like Jesus is living this journey, knowing what our future holds…knowing what those who do not believe future holds as well, and passionately seeking to draw them into the “More” that they need, and at least presenting that to them for them to make a decision.

Remember I mentioned the Buddhist and their actions… If we truly believe what we believe, what would our actions look like? I have used a term “eternal mindset” before, what would that look like? If we really, I mean REALLY were trying to save someone’s life…would we stand on the cliff and point and ask, “look how you got yourself into this one!” Or, “if you hadn’t walked off the cliff in the first place you wouldn’t be in this mess now!” Or finally, “You are wrong for hanging off the ledge, you should be standing here with me where it is safe!” I would imagine you would drop what YOUR PRIORITY IS AT THE MOMENT (your agenda) and take care of the necessity, which is getting to that person before whatever they are holding onto snaps and they are lost, forever. I could stand and push my priorities all I want at you if you’re hanging from a cliff but that is not what you need…you need help. If I truly believe what I say I do, think about how important it is to me to rush to that cliff side and get to the person that is about to fall… imagine if it is my family member, my friend, or even a stranger…

How would you react?

Think about it.

Grace and Truth.

simpleMan

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

A Broken simpleMind

I think a lot.

That doesn’t mean I think ABOUT a lot,

It just means I sit and think about…simple things…a lot.

I think sometimes, like today, of why I was placed in this time period in history.

I honestly believe that I was designed, created, placed with perfect precision into the life I now live. For that to be true, that means there are purposes for my life. Some I will without a doubt fail at, hopefully not the big things, and some I will succeed in. I get the opportunity to make my decisions when the situations arise, however, as I am designed, there are some things I am made to accomplish.

Weird.

So how do I find out what I am supposed to accomplish?

Think about that for a second, if we ARE designed, created, and placed that means someone put us here and has a reason for it, correct? That person would have an understanding of what we were designed to do, right? I mean what creative person designs an intricately made guitar and uses it for a hammer? The designer has a purpose in mind, and it is to lightly strum the perfectly designed guitar to make music.

I sometimes struggle, and sometimes REALLY struggle, as I live out this lifelong journey of finding out whom this simpleMan is, with getting worked up on what’s next. Where am I supposed to go, what am I supposed to do? How can this be fixed? And I am sure you can fill in the blanks with your own questions so I don’t ramble on with my own.

Maybe, and remember I struggle with this; I shouldn’t be worrying about my situations as much as I should be worrying about who I am according to what I am designed to be. Maybe if I take care of who I am, the situations (while not always peachy) will present an answer in themselves. Maybe if I take care of who I am, and am becoming my very actions will open the door that I so long for because by taking care of who I am my actions change and the doors become open due to this change in action.

Maybe…

Whoa.

I don’t know, I just find the further I am away from the Designer, the less I understand what I have been designed for. The closer I am to Him, the more clearly I “get it.” The further I am, the more frustrated, lost, and in the dark I feel. The closer I am, while not saying I have a full clear view, I do see more noticeably the action/direction I should head in.

A simpleMan for such a time as this?

The painfully thought-filled simpleMan.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Who Do I Look Like?



I have been reading an interesting book by Dan Kimball called "They Like Jesus But Not the Church." The title alone sold the book to me, because so often I feel similar. I am not ashamed to tell someone I am a Christian…sometimes it leads to an immediate wall being built up and many times (if I am not given a chance) a friendship could die before it even starts.

It's funny, this impact we are making on the world as a church in America

It sure does exude the same impact Christ made…doesn't it?

Some who read this may think that I am gushy Christian guy, and maybe I am. Yes, God is spoken of as a wrathful God, He speaks of having vengeance, speaks of His anger being aroused, but let me make this point…when He was here on earth in the form of Christ, how did He react?

Sure He threw over tables, but at what? Seems to me that He overthrew tables…in the "church" when people were trying to profit off of God by selling sacrificial animals to make a profit, and He did that once.

When Christ acted in a way that anyone could say He was judgmental…He did so against the religious leaders of His day. Christ came to "seek and to save that which was lost" not to persecute the actions of the lost, not to chastise them into salvation. He also didn't mince words when someone was caught in sin, but encouraged them to "sin no more." They didn't have to pray a sinner's prayer, they just admitted and knew in their heart that Christ was Lord, admitting that they understood the depths of who He was and admitted that He was Lord of their life. There was a specific impact moment when they received Him as the King of their lives.

I love the fact that Christ would regularly be seen "hanging out" with lepers, the sick, blind, former prostitutes, tax collectors (trust me they were more hated then than even now), fishermen, farmers, and the every day person. Who did He ridicule? Us, the church people who thought we were so high and mighty looking at life through our glasses of self-righteousness.

To wrap up, let me ask, how many of Jesus' friends were "Christian" when He met them? How many "unsaved" friends did He make throughout His time on earth? He did make a few friends in the religious sect, but primarily, who were the people He sought out?

Just think about the video above, He didn't seek those who were "fixed" or at least thought they were. He sought out the broken, thrown away, hurt, and lost. He then gave of Himself, painfully so that all who come can have this life of freedom He offers.

Thank God He loved me…and He loves the broken, and yes, He even loves the ones who point their fingers in indignation at those whom Jesus would call friend.

We are in a desperate hour, our time is short and we must remind ourselves who Jesus was, and is, and model our life as closely to His as we can. We can't BE Him to others, but His characteristics should be upon us as we walk this world bearing His name.

So humbled is the simpleMan

(P.S. This is not an excuse so that everyone can go out and do as they want, just realize that some who do the things they do, do not know any better. I often think if we "disciplined" our children the way we "reach the lost" we would have a population crisis...point is, stop beating the babies!)

Monday, April 30, 2007

Abiding

You know, I like to talk about my life lessons on here a lot. Things I have learned or am learning as I take walks, drive around, sit like a lump, or while working. I am sure just like normal people I wonder… why am I here?

So…Why am I here?

What am I supposed to be doing?

Where am I going?

To be honest, I don’t have an answer. Sorry to disappoint. What I have come up with…at least I think…is how we go about waiting to find out the answers to those questions.

I started thinking about the word “Abide”, it actually comes up quite a bit when you are reading. Think about what abiding means. The dictionary says it means to remain, to continue, to stay. Doesn’t that sound like what we are doing here? I mean we are abiding here on this earth; we’re kind of waiting for the next step, kind of wondering where we are going. If we were to look at the ancient Greek, the definition wouldn’t change much. It still means to wait, to not depart, and to endure. However, it also means to await or await someone.

So what? Where are you going?

I know, I know, we’ll get there hold on.

You see in ancient Israel, which is why I bring up the Greek (because a lot of the Jewish history is recorded in Hebrew and Greek) the custom went something like this. Two fathers would come together, one who had a daughter and another who had a son…get where this is going? The father of the son offered a dowry to the father of the daughter, if accepted they would have a huge party with both sides of the family, friends, etc. At this party they would…well…party, and at some point in the evening when the boy had worked up the courage to walk across the room he would. He would walk over with a cup with wine and set it in front of the girl who had the dowry paid to her father. When the cup was placed in front of her, she had the choice to drink the cup or to reject the cup.

MAN this is dripping with imagery.

If she accepted the cup, the boy would say in an almost verbatim speech that almost every young man would say if accepted, “I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to myself; that where I am, there you may also be.” He would leave after the party and go to his father’s house and either build on to his fathers house or build somewhere on his fathers’ property. He would take about a year to do so, and at some point after about a year, but only when the father gave the go ahead, only the father (Grooms) could give the go ahead. The Groom-to-be would go to the Bride- to-be and say basically “HEY, it’s time.” And if I have the custom right, she had better be good and ready!
You may ask, “Well, what would happen if her bridesmaids weren’t ready?” Actually, if anyone came to the ceremony late, like after the doors had closed, they didn’t get in and missed the whole thing. Even if they had been waiting for a LONG time…they were left out.

So what!?!?!

Well here we go, you see I look at us as the bride, we are here and we have accepted the cup if you will. However, in this time we have a groom that is preparing something bigger and better for us. It is up to us to use this time wisely. So what are we supposed to do? Well, we may not know the details, but there are certain “duh” things we know we are supposed to do. A bride knows that when she is to be married, she needs to get a dress, a hall, bridesmaids, their dresses organized, and so many other things. She ABIDES in the understanding that she is taken, she is no longer her own but she is given to someone else. When you become engaged you don’t go out dating someone else, you are somebody’s spouse-to-be. There are certain responsibilities that go with abiding in the engagement period.

My proposal is that we are in the abiding stage even now. We know some of the basics, the “duh” things we are supposed to do, and so we should do them to the best of our abilities. As we do that and communicate, connect, and concede our desires to the desires of our Groom, we will assuredly get some of the guidance we have longed for.

I guess my question then is, how are you abiding? Are you abiding in a way that would please your groom? I have found myself to be a poorly abiding person.

So ponders the simpleMan.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Poverty

It’s defined as the state or condition of having little or no money, goods, or means of support; condition of being poor; indigence; insufficiency.

“Are you willing to live in poverty?”

That’s the question I was asked yesterday, I have been wrestling with it every since.

I got up early yesterday @ 6 am to try to get on a schedule for walking, I walked in the fall/early winter & really enjoyed it. I found I had time to clear my head, think about some things & talk with God about some things. My enjoyment, coupled with my expanding waist, inspired me to start walking at the sacrifice of one of my most favorite things…SLEEP!


So I am half asleep, since I am not a morning person, & Denise was leaving at the same time & as I am walking out the door, I open the door & it seemed almost audible…

“Adam, are you willing to live in poverty?”

For those of you who know me, & my past, how I lived & where I have come from…you know I don’t take a question like that lightly.

So...what if?

What if He called me to poverty? What if what I was called to caused me to live in poverty? What if I was to lead my family down that road? Why would He call ME to that? Isn’t someone else willing? Are You serious? Why am I not willing? What’s wrong with me? Should I even be struggling with this? Or should I be “that guy” who just goes & sells all he has to give to the poor…but in the process wouldn’t that make me the poor? Or was He talking about physical poverty at all in that passage? I want to say, “Yes”, but would I REALLY mean it? I don’t want to answer in a way that just kind of snuffs the issue.

As I wrestled with all of that…the second question came…

“Why are you so willing to live in spiritual poverty then?”

Why is it so easy for me to settle? Why am I ok with taking my time seeking the spiritual things of this life? Why am I so anxious to find a better future & set goals for myself in the physical sense, but spiritually…what are my goals? Do I even have any? If so…

Are they big enough?

What do I mean by, “Are they big enough?” So many people are ok with saying what they believe & really that is the depth to their faith. From there, there is no depth to their seeking in the deep things of the faith. Not only that, but when someone is comfortable in the faith, what we need to understand is that we are sliding toward poverty. Think about it, poverty is the state or condition of having little or no money, goods, or means of support; condition of being poor; indigence (Or destitution); insufficiency. If we walk through this life, or our faith, having no support, no “faith” currency to obtain any spiritual goods, & we are taking in an insufficient amount of “Bread” (so to speak) what does that mean?

We are in spiritual poverty.

I read, I pray, I do all the “good” things I am supposed to do. So, how can I be in poverty? Because, I am destitute in reaching the goals I am called to, what I am taking in is insufficient to get me to those goals, I have very little to support me to get to those goals, I could go on & on. One person’s poverty is another person’s riches, & we must realize that we are not all called to be the same carbon copy, cookie cutter person. We all have different goals, have different callings, and have different…wiring. My point is that maybe what I do to reach my goals and what I am called to is riches to one person, but is another person’s poverty.

So, what are you called to?

Where are you in all of this?

Do you know what you’re personally called to? You don’t necessarily have to KNOW. I don’t know fully, but are you seeking?

So wrestles the Simpleman.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

A Simpleman's Simple Mind Working Overtime.

Recently I have been struggling.

I mean it.

I have had a lot of things going on in my hamster wheel powered brain recently. With all the things going on in life, the thing I have been thinking about…well actually there are two things.

First, "the things I love…I can't convince you of." Those are lyrics from a Derek Webb song, & every since I heard them…I can't get them out of my head. I really don't go into great detail on here about a lot of my passions, my hearts cry, the things that makes me ache inside…have you ever wanted something so bad you absolutely ached for it?

I am not talking about wanting a stick of gum here…

I mean your insides seem to quiver at the sheer thought of (fill in the blank) happening, & yet it seems (at times) so far away. There are a lot of things, right now, that I am starting to feel very distant from, some of those things I feel like I am getting much closer to…some seems like I would have to swim the Pacific & walk across China to get to.

Now…

Imagine feeling so passionate about something, so driven, so hungry & not being able to have people sharing in that with you? Denise & I feel the same, & maybe a few others…but from there, if I share…it's almost like trying to convince someone of what I (personally) love… your closest friends, those whom you love, so many you care for...

...and maybe it was even your friends themselves.

It's kind of like convincing someone you are worthy of being married to.

Imagine me bartering with Denise before we got married. Trying to convince her that it was a good idea. First, if you know me, you know I wouldn't do that. If anything went wrong she would resent me, & what would become of our relationship if I couldn't fulfill all the things I bartered with? So, my point is what good is a convinced relationship as opposed to a true heart-felt, inside, guttural desire relationship?

I guess what it comes down to is, does my life make people want that true heart-felt, inside, guttural desire for the things I love & have that true heart-felt, inside, guttural desire that I have? That is a hard question to swallow, because what I see is a resounding, "No"… does that mean I have that true heart-felt, inside, guttural desire? I believe so…so what is going on?



This leads me to the second part.. When I started speaking, I had so many people tell me that there was something special there. I have no clue what it was, honestly. I have people that I am in contact with ministry-wise, just love to be around both Denise & I. Once again, I have no idea why…at least on my part. I still have people say there are big things in store for you, big, big things…& that is a nice stroke to the ego…but what does that mean? How far away am I? Could you translate "big" for me? I mean, what am I looking for here?

If there is something big, why do I feel so small? If small is big, then what effect is there on the populace? Isn't that the impact necessary? Why do I feel so far off the course? Why can't I find a map I can read? Why is there no outlet I can plug into? Why am I so frustrated about all of this? Does this happen to anyone else?

Man, I am weak.

A feeble man with a direction few understand.

Ahh sweet Sovereignty… to follow & understand Sovereignty…as a small, finite-minded, simpleton…truly a vain pondering.

So ponders the simpleMan…

So rambles the simpleMan.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Rearview Mirror (Black Version)

Have you ever set a goal? You know, you wanted to achieve something so you set up a goal, and maybe even set up steps to get to that goal? Maybe it was to save some money, maybe buy a CD, car, TV, or Christmas presents. Maybe you are like me and you're trying to lose some weight. You may have even decided to read a book, write a book, write a blog, …whatever. I think we all have had SOMETHING we have made a goal for, and if not, you may want to talk to somebody about that.

When we set goals, how do we normally go about doing that? I was talking this past week and said, "It is best to start towards something having your destination in mind." I say that because it is easier to know what steps to make by having the goal, or destination in mind and knowing what you are shooting for.

So let me ask you a question.

Have you ever set a goal to the past?

Does that make sense?

For example, my goal (now) is to lose 15 pounds last year! It doesn't make sense does it?

Where are you going with this simpleman? My point is that sometimes we get so worked up about what we have already done (Or what someone has done to us) that sometimes it hinders us moving forward. Someone hurt me, which I do not mean to make light of, but am I willing to let that ruin my life or the lives of those close and dear to me? Am I willing to let that make me ineffective at life, love, friendships, and so on? I can name a number of people I think that struggle with this…

And I have too.

However when we come to the realization that our life is not in the actions of our past but in our seeking out whom we were designed to be. If you think of a traumatic event of your past, and we more than likely have all had them, how does that traumatic event affect your future goals? I am not asking how it shapes you as a person, or if has an affect on your future…because those types of events shape who we are and continually shape us…what I am asking is…does that event(s) cripple the "ideal" you that you have set as a goal for yourself? Think about it. How many people rush into a second or third marriage without moving on from the hurt and pain of the first? How does that translate to their next marriage? They carry the baggage from the first right in the front door of the second.

So what? What is your point?

My point is, if you are seeking to be the person you feel you were designed to be, let the past form and shape you but do not let it rule you. If your past rules you, you will be stuck in the past for your whole time here on this planet. We cannot function like that as an organization, family, friends, or even in our own personal life.

So…

…what is it?

What hurts you?

What slows your progression to the real you?

It may help to get it out and talk to someone about it, write it out maybe, it may help. There may be no quick fix or quick answer…but sometimes sharing just gets it out of there. Strive to be the person you have set the goal for yourself to be…don't get stuck as the person on the past, let the past form you and make you stronger…but don't get stuck there.

May you, when you look in the rearview mirror, see that you are driving away from those events with the memory firmly in your mind, but not sitting there staring at it and letting it eat away at you. May you remember those events but not be crippled by them. May you strive to become all that you are supposed to, and may you help others do so along the way.

So says the simpleMan

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Kudos & Futile Mutilations (Based on myspace blogging)

It's funny; I have tried to start working on this like three times now. Maybe this will work…if not I have to change three to four & try again. Kristen said a while ago, "BTW - what the heck is with this "kudos" thing? What - does everyone now require some kind of gratification for every post that we have a build in system for giving a "pat on the back"? Sad..." You know I would normally say, "I agree!" But then I started thinking…& while I do agree that it is "sad", do I really act out what I would have been saying? You know what I mean? Basically what I am saying is, Kristen is right…& I agree verbally…but sometimes, if I am being honest (shamefully so), I like the ego stroke.

So what can I do?

Well, let's think about this. Is that my motivation? You know to get my "kudos"? Sure I like kudos, (I especially liked the granola bars that were called Kudos…MAN those were good)…& sure I get that welling feeling inside when I get MY kudos (you know because I deserve them), but if that is my motivation & it is what makes me write more blogs (for example) what happens when my next two or three or twelve are flops & I get NO comments or kudos? I burn out & stop writing blogs maybe forever.

HEAVEN FORBID!

You know, I think Kristen has a point. How many people in this world base their motivations & actions on "kudos"? I have done it before, & to be honest…I have gotten to a place where kudos don't mean everything to me. Sure it is nice, & it is nice to give people their "kudos" when they do something good…I am just looking at the motivation. Why do something just because it will meet someone's approval. I was reading yesterday, & do you know in the ancient town of Philippi men were getting circumcised because they thought that gave them religious rights.

Think about that…but not for too long…

They were cutting off parts of their…OUCH…so they would be "approved" & get "kudos", they actually called these futile mutilations because it didn't get them any further in life or what they were seeking...and neither do kudos. Seems like this mindset has been around for a while. Grown men. Wow. Why is acceptance so important? Think about how our society is set up, & apparently it was set up in ancient Philippi. We are accepted into peer groups, cliques, certain schools (including pre-school), college, jobs, relationships, & now days even parental relationships in some cases, & the list could go on & on. Acceptance is important, but if you are not accepted, does that change who you are created to be?

I can honestly say, I have been rejected at every level that I mentioned. I have become more accepted as time has gone on & people have come into my path, or maybe I stumbled upon theirs, whichever. The point is acceptance (or kudos) doesn't always come as you want it, or when you want it, but it will come…if you do not have that as your priority. Because if you do have that as your priority, it will eat away at you when you don't get it & degenerate who you are designed to be. You can't base all of who you are on kudos.

Seek to give kudos; do not seek to receive kudos. Ask yourself how good you are at accepting sometimes, you may find hypocrisy. No, really, I say that because I have found some hiding there from time to time.

I really appreciate that Kristen bringing this up. She's a smart girl, & she is strong enough not to lose herself in the "kudos" of life, & it's a good thing, because she doesn't get the kudos she deserves sometimes. Thanks Kristen, Kudos to you!

Now, all of you, shower me in your kudos! If you do not, I shall no longer grace you with the wisdom of Simpleman & I will move to Philippi!

So says the Simpleman.

(Sidenote: Think about the whole basis of the movie "Accepted")

Monday, March 12, 2007

Thirsty Waiters (pt.2)

First off, don't forget this is a continuation of last time.

You know…as we were talking about waiters, thirsty waiters for that matter, I began to re-read what I had already written. I began to really try to evaluate how "on target" I was. While I feel I was getting at something, I think we have to look a little deeper, because if we don't we may miss the point…or maybe just I would miss the point.

So here we go…

The world is full of "patrons", people who come and go as they please. Just like our friends they come and go, they sit, they stay, and do what patrons/friends do. I guess I am trying to view myself as that thirsty waiter. What I mean is, think about a waiter that comes up…you know like I mentioned…all out of whack and thirsty and…basically just a mess. How do you feel about that? You would probably have something to say to everyone around you about what a mess they were.

So what kind of waiter am I?

I am sitting here thinking…as a waiter, am I good at this? Do I give good service to the patrons around me? I have to be honest…I am no good at this. I am getting better, and I have come a long way, but I am so far from good.

An inexperienced waiter struggles and fumbles and makes mistakes lot of the time and that is understandable. I have been a "waiter" for a while now, and I find myself hiding from the patrons at times. I get so caught up in the "kitchen" that I don't do too well with the patrons, which should be my focus. Sometimes I find patrons I really like and just wait around till they come again, while other patrons should be getting my service. I bicker with other waiters. I am a bad waiter.

What does this have to do with thirst? Well that is the other issue, isn't it? Think about what I just mentioned in the above paragraph…did it involve anything that was healthy for me? See it is easy to get very removed from the patrons, but it is also very easy to get removed from…

You.

If that happens what do you really have to offer the patrons? What do you have to offer anyone? Sometimes the best way to reach out to patrons is to make sure you are ok. There is a line where the break must be made…and that is where discernment comes in. We need both.

I can't tell you how often people I come in contact with want me to go here or go there to talk to someone about something that they need me to take care of their patrons. I don't mind, and I understand in some cases that it is better coming from another "waiter." However, if I am constantly doing this…doesn't it mean there is a problem? Certain situation call for more experienced waiters…and some things even the busboy can take care of.

So to wrap this up…are you a thirsty waiter? What are you offering the patrons that come to you? What can you offer them? What do they get when you are around? Are you frazzled? Complaining? Irritable? Is that what we are serving in the "Kitchen"? Why would anyone want to come back? Maybe it's time we get a drink!

Think about it.

I know I have a long way to go…cus I still find myself a thirsty waiter far too often.

So says the Simpleman.

Friday, March 9, 2007

Thirsty Waiters (pt. 1)

Why are relationships important? Ever wonder why we long for relationships? I am not saying you sit at home and LONG for a relationship…I am saying if someone walked up to you and struck you the right way in conversation, you would be a slight bit (if not more) happier if someone did that to you. Unless there is an issue (which all who know me, KNOW I have issues.

And issues…

And yes...

More issues.

You would be way more receptive if you saw that person walking up to you to talk again.

Why?

Because we love the idea of having a friend, and if it is someone of the opposite sex and they appear to not be …how shall I say…of a stalker stock, and you are available…think of the feeling you get.

Why?

We seek relationships. Granted there are skeptical people out there, who it takes a LOT longer to break down the walls if someone comes and starts a conversation with them. Here also are quite a few that if you walked up to them and started a conversation, or even if you just asked, "How are you doing today?" Would think, "FREAK!" How bad is that really?

Have you ever messed around with your waiter/waitress (in the sense of just goofing off, don't go make out with your next waiter/waitress after this…unless your married to one, then by all means) I am surprised by how many "days" have been made just by asking them how they were doing and listening…granted sometimes they are busy and that isn't the best time to ask…but on slow nights, many times (not always) they are waiting to be listened to…why? Because they listen or ask people questions all day, imagine if you were in a place where you had to fill peoples water glasses, but the only way you got to take a drink was if someone else filled a glass for you (you could not fill one for yourself) think about filling people water glasses all day and never getting a drink yourself. You are around water all day…and yet you are dying of thirst…that is what so many people's lives are like.

Sometimes the waiter/waitress are "those" people, and sometimes I feel like the thirsty waiter. I would love to say, "When I feel like the waiter, I just keep pouring." You know, cus I am SOO righteous. However, really…you know when I am honest…when I am thirsty I first try to look at how good I am at filling others glasses, and I am not really very good at that at all. In fact, I dare say…if I was your water-filling waiter, I don't deserve a tip. I don't deserve a refill.

...To Be Continued...

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Investments & Meetings

I am at the church & there is about 4-5 inches of snow on the ground.

I love snow.

I want to do a video lesson on snow so bad; it’s all churning around up there in the gray matter. I was here at the church for about 13 hours yesterday and you know what…that is about normal, I mean maybe not at the church but between my wife, mother-in-law, and I…it isn’t all that unusual to be running, non-stop for 13+ hours a day. I am talking no sitting, no nothing. To be honest I am ok with that…

IF…

I am spending time out meeting someone for counseling, meeting up with someone to work on our relationship, meeting up with students, studying for a sermon, studying for school, working on one of the houses, or spending time with family or ANYTHING of that nature. I am not very cool with meetings, and I am talking the drawn out meetings…not the constructive kinds. I remember when I worked at Target, I used to work the very early morning shift, and you know when they scheduled the mandatory meetings?

Weekends & evenings.

So why do we do meetings? I mean in theory they have a very good purpose, right? The problem is, well at least how I see it, is if the meeting is short, sweet & to the point…whoever is in charge is short and must be in a bad mood. If it goes long people complain too. So where is the happy medium? I tend to be on the short, sweet, & to the point side (although I have had meetings I am sure some would debate that point). Why am I an advocate of this?

Well

Mainly because, if I am running for 13 hours, how many of those hours are quality time? You know, talking to my wife? Reading as I should? Spending time in the quiet with God? Spending time with my wife on a date or just sitting & reading together?

As of right now, there isn’t a slowing…just not possible, but I see a light at the end of the tunnel, and you can bet I will appreciate those times so much more when they come around again. YES, I KNOW I WILL BE BUSY FOREVER (For all you people who like to poop on people’s parades), but when I have an investment (time)…I want to invest it as I should.

So says a simple man.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Slippin'

What has happened to this year? It flies by so quickly and it seems like last year didn't even really end. Sometimes when life moves this quickly I really try to assert some kind of free time to just sit and think, "Is this what life is all about?" I mean, rushing about and trying to get "stuff" done in time…for whatever time has been set to do something. This is something I have really been wrestling with recently.

Time and priorities.

What?

No really, I really struggle with these things. A lot of people would look at me and say my priorities are great. Who am I being compared to? The general populace? Who wants to be a general populace person? If you do please speak up. Anyone? I think we all want to be remembered for SOMETHING, even if it is just by our family members or friends. Time and priorities go hand in hand, we all have time and we all have priorities. What do we do with them?

I probably shouldn't be writing this.

Scandalous?

No.

I have other things I should be doing with my time, I could justify it with an excuse…but I have made it a priority to write this…and I don't even know why. Should you be doing something else? I don't know. I have things around my house that need fixed, I have homework to do, I have work to do…but you know what. You know what I have been wrestling with?

You may not share my beliefs, and in this point it doesn't really matter. What? Well, my point is if I want to be the person I believe I should be, let's say the non-populace guy, I should be reaching out to people. Making friendships that last, touching lives that are hurting, for God's sake…HANGING OUT with people…and a HIGH priority is to hang out with my WIFE! What in the world does a degree matter, if my marriage crumbles? How nice is a house that you have to sell because of divorce or separation. How nice is it to have zero friendships? I am sure this could be worded so much better…I know it could, and before you shirk all responsibility…there is a place for responsibility too, and that also should be a high priority…but how high? That IS the question isn't it?

I guess what I am saying, or randomly commenting on would probably be more accurate, is that I have made certain things more of a priority than I should…and some other things less of priority than they should be. My time has been devoted to some things that are menial at best and I have wasted away a lot of the time I should have spent on more important matters. I want to pour more time into the lives of my wife, family, friends, students, and those who will be my future friends. I believe that is who I really am, and who I am called to be.
What about you?

What are you thinking right now?

THIS GUY IS CRAZY!

Yes, true…

True….true.