Restricted Reliance

I do not like restrictions; I love to have the freedom to do what I want to do. I actually feel like my freedom is restricted when I am tested on a matter, because of this, school was always very difficult for me. I am wired a bit differently, if given freedom I will find a way to accomplish the goal but often not in the same way that is the standard. I was also not very good at most video games when I was younger. I just don’t see things like other people a lot of the time. Because of this I have often felt like I didn’t fit in throughout my life. When I tried to fit in, I felt restricted.

I don’t feel that way anymore, some of it is due to maturity, some due to a bit of confidence that has recently been given to me. However, there are occasionally matters in my life that I feel those restrictions arise, and my freedom being infringed upon. Funny thing is, the more recent restrictions I feel and struggle with are things that are mostly learned and based on presumptions I have made. Freedom is defined by most dictionaries as the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint or the power to determine action without restraint.

I wonder… how free we are in our faith. I wonder if we feel restricted more than we feel freedom. Through the centuries there have been some additions to the “rules” and worse than that there is a mindset that if I do the good things, I am closer to God. If I don’t do them, then God is mad at me. So we do the good things more, or strive to do more, at least. This gets awfully tiring. It is always asking for more and more and more. Sooner, or if you are really good, later, you either give up and go down the pathway of not caring or you end up living a life of fear and dread while trying to numb yourself to life in general.

Is this the life that God wants?

This is the easy yoke?

This is the gift of God?

This is the easy burden?

You ever think that maybe God just wants us to give up and listen to Him? Maybe He just wants us to stop striving and conforming ourselves into who we think He wants us to be, and just say, “God would you live through me.” Then stop, and listen to see what He leads us to do. I can’t even give you a definite answer as to how to receive this freedom that God gives, but it is there. It was there for the woman at the well in John 4 (Go ahead, read it) and it is here for me. I have recently gained a new perspective on freedom for the prisoners, and I believe I have been in bondage to manmade, learned theology and as I have studied recently, I am finding this freedom inspiring me to go beyond the norm, known structure of the church.

I am still learning, but with what little I know, I cannot go back. This is the direction I am heading, this is the direction I am led, and for the first time in a long time I feel a much fuller power entering my life, a power without the restriction I wrestle with so often. This freedom allows me to more fully rely on Him and rely less on myself to accomplish the daunting task of pleasing God. It is letting Him do the work, and not relying on man, and his preconceived notions about God, to transform us into the person God wants us to be.

Snow Blower Sanctification

Last winter, news of a snow storm came across various news sources. I prepared myself for the wintery blast and made sure I had all my snow precautions prepared. I figured that if I shoveled pretty regularly (every hour and a half to two hours) I could stay ahead of it. Now, it is important to note that I do have a snow blower, but I enjoy the snow and figured if I shoveled regularly it wouldn’t be that tough of a job. Prepare yourself, because I reveal my stupidity here. The snow came, and my first few rounds of shoveling went very well, I stayed ahead and it was easy. Why would I use a snow blower for this?

The snow kept coming…

…and coming…

…and coming.

I stayed ahead, until, it was time to go to sleep for the night. I woke up and, yep, there was a ton of snow that landed in the night. I talked myself out of digging out the snow blower because “it couldn’t be that bad” because I had been digging most of the day before. Well, I had gotten about a third of the way done and I was beginning to realize, there was more snow here than I realized. I dug until it was all cleared away, but I don’t mind telling you, I felt pretty dumb because it took forever.

Digging…

…and digging…

…and digging.

A lot of times, I have found in the past that I get to a place where I don’t know what else to do to I just keep plodding along. I have the resources and abilities to make life easier, or maybe just not worry about a situation because I have the ability to make it all much easier on myself by waiting and taking care of all of it at once. However, I sit, fret, want to be done with it, and therefore get ahead of myself. A lot of times in life I keep digging, when I could just bust out the snow blower and knock it all out.

I had the power, but I denied using it.

I have the power but deny using it.

That seems so foolish, and yet, I find myself doing that more than I care to admit. Sometimes poor decisions lead us to a repetitive, lackluster, and mediocre lifestyle or at least response to a situation. I think this happens to all of us in something, but may it never be true of our faith. May we never just approach our faith by continually digging instead of letting the Spirit of God reveal His power through us in our life and the situations we face. Let God fire up His power for you, let His Spirit have freedom in your heart, and see what God has planned for you for His glory and for your betterment.

That is all for now, there is a snow storm coming this weekend and I think I had better get the snow blower out.

The Pursuit of Happ-ME-ness

I don’t know how many of you out there watch “Home Shopping Network” or “QVC” but it is a pretty amazing thing to partake in. Salesmen have anywhere between thirty seconds to thirty minutes to sell you something you absolutely cannot live without. Whether it is a tool set, a funky ice scraper for your car that is six feet long, a hot dog bun warmer, automatic fingernail clippers, or a blanket that is scientifically proven to keep your dog warmer in its bed; you need this to be happy. As I watch this thinking how humorous it is, the number at the bottom of the screen continues to rise as people buy, buy, buy to fill the void of that needed doggie blanket.

I didn’t know there were that many cold dogs in this world.

The point is that people think if I buy this “thing” I will be happy, and they buy it, they receive it in the mail in five to seven business days. They lay it out for Schnitzie the schnauzer and he hates it, now what to do? That didn’t really fill my desire; in fact I am not happy at all. What else does HSN have on sale today? Off to buy the next thing with the hopes that it will somehow fill this void in my life and maybe I will be happy.

Is our motivation in this life to search for happiness?

Or, is there something more than happiness?

I wonder if we always received everything we ever wanted, we were able to afford every single thing we wanted, every situation went our way, every hope we had came through…how strong of a person would we be really? How strong would our character be? We have trials and things that don’t always fall into place and one of two things can happen, desperation or growth. Now desperation happens more frequently when you are looking for that happiness fix, however, if you are looking to be teachable there can be growth.

There is a way to have peace in the midst of trials.

The happiness we often seek, the kind that comes from HSN, is temporary and fleeting. When Schnitzie doesn’t like the blanket, we have to look for the next high. We see this in today’s youth with numerous things from games, to drugs, to…well…anything that gives them the rush they feel they need. I say we see it in youth, but we see it all across our consumer driven society. We have to have the next big thing to fulfill my need for happiness. I need…for me…I need…for me…and don’t try to justify it by saying something like, “but the blanket was for Schnitizie.” No, that was for you, to fill your need, Schnitzie is fine.

We are so selfish and so hell-bent to get our way that we don’t see that we are making our character weak.

Maybe the tough times are there to broaden our horizons, to expand us, to stretch us and to make us a stronger person. Maybe, if you are a believer, these times are there to push us closer to God, to cause us to trust Him more and not trust ourselves, to grow in our faith, to make Him the source of our happiness because the happiness He provides is something much more than happiness. Happiness is a great thing, I am not saying we should be moping around and sad to build character, I believe there is balance (not that we go looking for trouble to balance things out, just saying to try to conjure up a way to be happy to avoid reality). When we run away from reality to live in a miserable, self projected happiness, we may find momentary fixes, but there is no growth and there is a weak character that is unable to deal as well with the real issues that we all will face sooner or later.

Recently, I have enjoyed some of my time with my wife and child, this is our daughter’s first full winter and she will enjoy her first Christmas. This brings me happiness, so should I look for something tough to go through to balance it out? No, the tough times will find me, but as I go through those tough times it will help me to enjoy those happy moments more and lean on God more as I go through the trials. In the end, my happy moments will become lasting and beautiful memories while I hope the trials will produce character in me that my family, friends, and those I love will see and respect and maybe even want to mimic to some degree.

Don’t fear the trials, don’t try to selfishly dodge them with conjured up happiness, face them head on while leaning on God…you will find what He can do in those trials to be something truly amazing and the happy moments He brings to be more joyous and lasting.

A Monster's Farewell

Does anyone remember the toy “My Pet Monster?” That was one toy that I never understood the fascination for. I never had one, and I never desired one, and no one accidently got me one and that was something I can say I lived my life to this point not regretting. There was a period of time where there were some movies, toys, and cartoons that depicted monsters as fun loving creatures. The reality is no matter how we paint the thought of a monster, the term monster was never created to be cute.

Sometimes there are monsters in life. As a child they may sleep under our beds, sometimes they live in our closets, sometimes we see their shadows, maybe they live in the dark, maybe they are a person who caused you pain. The funny thing is you can outgrow many monsters, but some, some of them follow you no matter how old you are or hard and far you run. Sometimes no matter how far you go, they always seem to be in the rearview mirror.

The only way to end the nightmare of the monster is to stop running.

Sometimes, when it doesn’t make sense, God (who is bigger than any monster) will lead you to trust in Him to be your strength. Sometimes He tells you that you need to face this monster to show you just how far He has brought you. Maybe it is time to stop running, because He has made you bigger than the monster. Maybe you have been so scared of something that is so much smaller than you that to everyone else it seems silly, but to you, when you remember the terror of this monster, it still makes you shake. We may not realize, the monster isn’t much of a monster anymore, because we have become something more.

We all have a past; we all have things we prefer to forget about. Some of us have something or someone that has terrified us, some of us have moved on and still some of us have come face to face with whatever our monster is/was and have come to realize that the monster that haunted us for so long is little more than a frightened person running from their own monsters.

How you deal with your monsters will have a lot to say about what direction you end up taking for your life. You may not forgive that person, maybe you do. You may let hate be your master, a hate for your monster. Does fear still paralyze you? Do you keep running?

Or have you faced your fear, hate, unforgiveness, and bitterness, looked it in the face and conquered it with the power God has given you. I am not trying to belittle whatever monster you have had to face, but maybe I am, not because it wasn’t a horrible tragedy you had to go through…but because maybe that monster isn’t as big as it used to be.

Maybe it is your time.

Maybe you will be surprised by how far God has brought you.

Maybe He wants to prove or show you the work that He has done.

Maybe this is the stepping stool of trust that He wants to show you so He can take you to the next level He has for you.

Maybe it is time that His bravery shines through you.

Maybe…