***In the following post, I want to say up front that I am not trying to make light of matters that may have happened in the past that may have scarred anyone psychologically. There are definitely deeper matters that some have faced, my point is to bring out some of the past issues that I have struggled with and have blamed for my current shortcomings and pointing out that if I (personally) am willing to lay my hurts bare before God I know I can receive healing from those events. I do not want to come across as insensitive to those who have, for example, been a victim of a criminal act. Thank you.***
“I am this way because of the way I was brought up.”
“I am this way because it is just who I am, if someone doesn’t like it…that’s their problem.”
Have you ever talked to someone and noticed they deflect the blame for their actions to someone else, or some outside influence?
A lot of people have been wronged in their lives. It is a sad matter as we see it happen more often as the times go on. I don’t excuse those who have wronged them. However, I know that I also must confess that I have enjoyed being the victim a little bit. There are times that being the victim allows me to have a bit of a cushion, I am allowed to “mess up” and have an excuse. I, personally, have glossed over the hurts and moved on saying I have forgiven. The reality it is a patch worked version of forgiveness and as a result, a patch work version of healing.
I point my finger if I am called out on my shortcoming to the event(s) in my past as an excuse for my poor actions now.
I have moved on, but without actually rooting out the past hurt. Without rooting it out, I have not experienced a true healing. Without the true healing, I am trying to move forward into God’s plan for my life without letting Him have all of me. Therefore I am still trying to move forward in God’s plan’s my way.
That doesn’t work so well.
We can easily look at the story of Jonah in the bible and see that He wanted to do His own thing instead of God’s way. He wasn’t willing to let go of His desires to accomplish what God desired. Even at the end of His story in the Bible, he held on to his hate of the people of Nineveh so much that He was completely blind to the work God accomplished in those people.
So what are we holding on to?
What is it that is killing us but we don’t want to give it up?
For me, I had to sit down and admit that some of the things I had said I had moved on from actually did hurt me. They did shape me into who I am today, for better or worse. However, those things that are the “worse” things can be healed, refilled with His Spirit, and turned into beauty for His glory. That is what I want. I don’t want to be another fatality due to finger pointing. At this stage in my life I can sit back and point fingers when I, or someone else, points out my shortcomings, or I can say, “God, I know there is something here in my life that isn’t the best at bringing you honor. I know the root of it may spring up from a past hurt, but I also know you can heal it. Let me not be too proud to hold onto it. Let me not be too fearful of facing the challenge of facing the healing. Let me be open to Your revealing, to Your healing, to Your guidance, for Your glory.
It will hurt, and there may be more uncovered than you ever imagined, but the results will leave you in a healthier place with a more fulfilling peace in your heart. Don’t let pride feed off of your hurt. Don’t let finger pointing make you a fatality. Don’t let it kill you in your progress along the journey God has set aside for you. Moved forward, restored to the fullness of who God has made you to be. Don’t gloss over a matter that God wants to do something deep and supernatural with.