Monday, December 27, 2010

Busted Knuckles and Bruised Ego's

I would never be accused of being a handyman, but when I do work on something around the house it is amazing to me how often I can walk away to get another tool or something of that nature and then notice that I have somehow banged up my hand or scuffed my leg on something.  I was even carrying some chairs the other day and I was walking back down the hallway and I felt something wet on my hand and looked down and I have blood running down my hand and about to drip on the floor. I had busted my knuckle on something and left a nice gash.  I have no idea how the injury happened, but it was definitely there.  I didn’t even recognize when it happened, but once again, it was there.
Recently, it has been revealed to me that I have quite a bit of that going on inside of me.  I thought that I was moving along at a pretty nice clip, growing spiritually (and I was and am), learning, opening myself up to what God’s Spirit wanted to do in broadening my horizons.  However, in the midst of that I am finding out also, that I have a lot of nicks, scrapes, and other matters that I thought I had no bearing on me.  I would love to just sit and mope and say, “God is really putting me through the wringer.”  However, I know that for God to do the things in me that I want Him to do (and they are the things He wants to do through me as well) I have to deal with some of these things.
I don’t respond well if I am frustrated, I don’t like being tested or challenged, I have awkwardness socially (you may not notice, but it wipes me out sometimes after a social event), I don’t like feeling as though I am not being approved of, if I don’t like a situation I would rather distance myself from it as opposed to hitting it head on, I could go on and on.  It isn’t the thought that I am the only one who struggles with these things; it is the thought of whether or not I want to let these things have a hold on me.  Am I willing to let these things or other struggles limit what God wants to do? 
Gideon was afraid, but God comforted him.  Moses was afraid, but God directed Him and made a path that Moses could handle.  Many were afraid or faced large challenges throughout the Bible, but even if they were willing to use those flaws as excuses God had a plan and they complied.  That is what I want to do.  I don’t know how some of this mess has gotten here, and I do know where some of it has come from, the point is, I want to be healed. 
Healing isn’t always pleasant, but it is what is best for us.  Healing hurts like hell, but that is often times because the wounds we carry have been inflicted by hell.  I want my life to look a lot more like Him, I want my hopes and dreams to line up with His, but to do that, I can’t let these injuries and flaws be an excuse.  I don’t want to just stand in the hallway of my life and let my wounds drip on the floor, I want to go and get cleaned, and bandaged up so I can move forward and do the work He has called to and do it with more clarity and direction from Him. 
What has been inflicted upon you?  Maybe you have done it to yourself even.  Is it holding you back?  Is it distracting you from what God may be calling you to?  Have you sought Him out for healing?  Are you in a desperate place, a place where you stop fighting and are willing to hand over every hurt to Him?  I hope whatever it is for you, that His Spirit would reveal it to you and show you that He is waiting with open arms to take that hurt away, help you grow from it, and use you in a greater way to glorify Himself.
Our ego is no excuse to allow ourselves to be hindered from God’s best.  Our pride is no place for this process of reconciliation.  Let Him heal you, let Him restore you to the person He wants you to be.  That is what is best for you and for all of us.

1 comment:

adam mclane said...

What a process. Thanks for this post.