Wednesday, December 15, 2010

My Crumbling Kingdom

The other day I read a status on Facebook from a friend/acquaintance that does missionary work in Peru. He ministers there in various ways but on this particular day he was ministering to the people who live in landfills. He and those with him were feeding the poor when a man who was a known rapist came forward for food. My friend (Rich) struggled, but felt the Spirit of God prompting him to love this man by giving him food just like everyone else. I read what he had done and felt the conviction of knowing I doubt I would have reacted in the love that Rich showed towards this man. This man didn’t deserve help…but God’s love through Rich was given freely.

Last night I sat and watched a video from the Justice conference. I have seen many videos about sex trafficking and the atrocities it causes. I have felt moved to do something about it, but this video crushed me. I sat on my couch, watching the faces of these children, hearing the stories of how they were whisked away from the playground they were playing on by their pimps because it was time for them to “go to work.” I cried, I sobbed, because that video broke me. Do I believe that these children are worth my time? Do I believe (truly) that they deserve or are worthy of my effort?

I have read recently in John, about how Christ loved people. In John four He talked with an outcast woman and welcomed her even though she was considered not worthy on many different levels. I hadn’t seen the attitude with which Jesus took with her as I had read it many times before. He didn’t approach her as a peon, He didn’t come across as high and mighty, and He handled her as a random but nice person. He had the riches of Heaven at His fingertips, yet in the midst of this moment in time, He reached out to this woman and changed her life. Not only her life, but the life of her entire village; many of them believed in Christ. He saw that they were not deserving or worthy, but loved them despite that.

A chapter later in John, a man was healed from being an invalid for thirty eight years. He had no way of helping himself, no way to gain hope, just going through the same routine day after day. Then Jesus came to this random, suffering soul and loved him. Christ healed him of his physical ailment. Something interesting happened shortly after, those who were religious came in and even though this man was worthy in God’s sight, he was not worthy in theirs. They ridiculed him and they missed the point of the act that God had carried out. Their kingdom, the things they controlled, the things they “ruled,” the commands that they enforce were not being carried out to their standards (despite what God had done) so they made the judgment that a man worthy of this miraculous meeting with Christ was still not good enough for them.

My God, I am guilty of that.

I have built this kingdom of ideals, material items, and rationality that doesn’t seem to line up with the actual realization of what God really wants. I know what I am doing, so therefore, why should I consult God. Maybe He wants me to feed a rapist. Maybe He wants me to cut out many things from my schedule…maybe even my security in my job, to help the 27 million people stuck in sex slavery. Maybe He wants me to talk to the woman who is hopeless and stuck in a situation (possibly made by her poor decisions even) and minister to her and show that there IS hope. Maybe He wants me to not look at His miracles with disdain.

My kingdom is a kingdom of temporal, manmade ideals that I have been clinging to for so long that I don’t know if I will ever think fluidly in the eternal mindset. It taints me even now as I try to make decisions. I think through a matter and have to catch myself before jumping because I may not have thought about it with a Spiritual rationale. My kingdom is crumbling…and I love it…and it scares me…but I know it what needs to happen. My prayer is that He has all of me that He wants…and my prayer for you is the same. May your kingdoms crumble so that His may take its rightful place. If there be anything on the throne of our heart that is taking the place of Christ, may it be removed…by force if necessary. May there be nothing that we find so important that we are not willing to do whatever it is that He calls us to. May He rule His kingdom of our heart.

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